Though I'm a city girl now, I have a past. And that past involved growing up in the "country" -- farm animals, bugs, weeds and lots and lots of antlers. I loved almost every second of it (excluding a seemingly infinite number of poison ivy bouts, of course) and I couldn't think of a better way to show tribute to my friends and family than writing about the hilarity that was real life growing up in the backwoods of Wisconsin.
Welcome to: You've Lived In The 'Country' Too Long When..
...you don't bat an eyelash about the idea of bear control. In fact, you enjoy photographing them when they're near with the zoom lens you reserve for backyard wildlife.
...you use one, from your collection, of ATV's and a mowing trailer to mow your lawn. A push mower would take far too long.
...you've previously had a pig pen or chicken coop in the corner of your backyard that now makes for a very fertile garden.
...you own a plow and can plow your own driveway, (because it's big enough that it can't be shoveled) as well as the roads to most of your neighbors' houses before the township plows make it to you. Oh, and you know what a township is.
...you spend your Saturday mornings, even in the summer, chopping wood to rank up in the shed to later throw in your wood burning furnace during those cold winter months.
...you know all the differences between poison oak, poison ivy and poison sumac and how to deal with each once you get it, because it's inevitable -- oatmeal bath with a swipe of calamine lotion, anyone?
...you have at least one room in your home decorated with antlers, camo and wood paneling with pops of forest green throughout, but you know that hunter orange has to stay in the closets.
...you're comfortable with the fact that snakes are nature's pest control -- there will never be a mouse in your house, "cross my heart and hope to die."
Tell us about your 'country' living in the comments below.
You know what else is in Wisconsin? This fallout shelter.