12/03/2014 03:09 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2015

Why This Isn't a Mid-Life Crisis

Sure I'm 40, and if the average U.S. life span is 80, then I am roughly in the middle of my life. But let me tell you why what I am going through is not a mid-life crisis.

First off, what am I doing? I am making some pretty serious and life-altering assessments. I am stopping to think why I am doing what I am doing and why I am living my life the way I am. I have made some significant changes in life and plan on making more.

I am no longer content with living by definitions put on me by others. Up until now I lived as a child, a daughter, a sister, a student, a girlfriend, a wife, an employee, a mother, a a a... No more! I wipe my hands clean of living and making choices based on and through these labels.

And why now? Why at this age that so happens to fall in what may be the middle of my life? Why, because I have 40 years experience to give me the knowledge and power I need. I have had enough time living in my mind of ego and consciousness to have discovered my inner voice.

I didn't know a year ago or five that it didn't matter what the outside world thought. I was still trapped in my head and living life the way I thought I was supposed to. I lived definitions. Who was the real me, without the labels? I came to realize that inside I am one pretty awesome chick without having to live up to any expectations.

Wikipedia states that a mid-life crisis may occur when a person realizes conflicts or dissatisfaction within themselves because of unrealized goals, self-perceptions or physical changes as a result of aging or health issues.

So what makes this, for me and countless others not a mid life crisis? To begin with,

This isn't a crisis!

This is anything but. This is heaven on earth. I have found my voice and am free to live it.

Secondly this isn't about trying to be young and relive my 20s. This is so much better than a sports car or having a 20-year-old body. This is about loving every inch of my body wrinkles and stretched skin included. Those marks are reminders to the intensely awesome experiences that have led me here Now. And as for a fancy car, that is just a thing and I have learned, in the first half of my life, that things are just things. They disappear, when what I have inside me can only get brighter.

Thirdly is I'm happy. This "thing" I am going through feels right. No one can talk me out of it and it's not going away. This isn't a growing pain. What you see is a person who feels good and is content with this new direction. This isn't a phase that will pass. There is no need waiting for me to get past or through this. This is me.

I suspect that many others at a similar point in their lives get filed under the label of mid-life crisis either by others or themselves. Don't let a label define you yet again. Take stock in your feelings and needs and honor them then ask yourself these questions:

1.) Are you trying to realize unachieved goals or are you just seeing the possibility of achieving your goals?

2.) Are you feeling dissatisfied with your body's changes or has society influenced you on your perceptions of these changes?

3.) Are you wanting a new car so you can look younger or because you deserve to finally drive the car you want?

4.) Are you reassessing your relationships because you want a fresh start or because you are ready to acknowledge that these relationships don't serve you any longer.

5.) Are you tired of feeling dissatisfied with your life or are you just ready to be satisfied through a life of your creation?

You decide what you are doing and why, whether you are in your 20s, 40s, 60s or 80s. Truth is if you let yourself just be and trust and honor who you are you can get through your life crisis free.

Give yourself permission to live.