05/20/2013 02:46 pm ET Updated Jul 20, 2013

Look Before You Love

I've been single for a while now. Sure, I've shared a text relationship or two, some (non-alcoholic) drinks, went on some dates -- and I even thought I was falling in love at one point.

Until I woke up and reality kicked me in my cute (new -- but that is another story) little ass.

What I mean, is that a lot of women (and even men) who come out of bad relationships and are automatically tripping over their own feet when meeting or being introduced to someone who is remotely nice to them, and shares similar likes and dislikes -- or, in my case isn't a criminal and has a job.

Coming out of an abusive marriage/relationship, I have done this once or twice myself: thinking the next man I met was the right man. That is so far from the truth. Just because the next, new person is a little bit better than -- or does things different than -- the ex doesn't always make them Mr. or Ms. "Right." Just because he or she texts you a couple of times a day, tells you they are "different," promises you the world, or takes you out on three consecutive dates until he (or she) tries to sleep with you doesn't make that person right.

And now that I've figured out what was behind the saying "Love when you are ready, not lonely," I want to share it with the world!

Please do not date someone out of sheer loneliness; don't get into bed with just anyone because they say all the right things. Don't sell yourself short and believe everything you hear from a man or woman.

Those annoying words, "the proof is in the pudding," that our parents used to mutter are actually true.

Hell, don't tell my mom this... But a lot of the things she said and the advice she gave me turned out to be true.

If you go into any relationship blinded by the attention and the newness of it, it's dangerous for both you and the other person. You must look before you leap -- but, more importantly, you must look before you love.