10/02/2008 05:12 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Baby Mama Drama: GOP Shot-Gun Weddings, Oh My!


Unwed pregnant teens, redneck baby daddys, shot gun weddings -- are these the corner stones of GOP family values? In case you didn't hear, John McCain's baked Alaskan has a pop tart. Yes, Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol is unwed and five-months pregnant, by Levi Johnston, who describes himself at My Space as "a fuckin' redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes." Doesn't he sound like every good Christian Evangelical parent's dream?

VP hopeful Palin put out a statement after the internet buzzed with questions about whether her fifth child was actually her daughter's child: "Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents."


The baby daddy, Levi, is 17 and entering his senior year at Wassila High School. More on his My Space page: He boasts, "Ya fuck with me I'll kick ya ass." As an insight to how he will support his young family he shares, "I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin' chillin' I guess." As mayor of Wassila, it's evident from Levi's writing skills and her daughter's good judgment, that Sarah Palin spent more time perfecting her moose pie than stressing sex education or the three R's.

The baby daddy also shares this thought at My Space: "I don't want kids." The news that Bristol was, of course, practicing abstinence-only birth control must have come as a shock to the soon-to-be other "dude" of the Palin clan. The little polar bear in the oven must have come as a surprise, too, but not as much as the fact that there was a wedding in the works and that he was the groom. "Ya fuck with me I'll kick ya ass... or maybe not." I'm baffled at the McCain camp and the GOP's promotion of Ms. Palin as a commander in chief when there's no doubt that if this were a revelation from a Democratic candidate -- and particularly a black candidate -- imagine the uproar over what a bad example they set for youth and parents of America.

What hypocrisy! What blatant duplicity! Where are all the right wing moralist who decry hip hop and rap stars for spreading base morals? Where is Jerry Falwell and the GOP pundits who bring the wrath upon inner city black youths, for exhibiting the same bad judgment and behavior that Sarah Palin's daughter and baby daddy have? All I've heard today from the same people who litter the airwaves with their self-righteous moralizing was political sophistry. Gone are the fire and brimstone sermons about good Christian family values.

If Sarah Palin has accomplished anything in this election cycle, it's to expose the right wing extremist for the bigots and hypocrites they are. We see when one of their own is forced to reveal themselves, they are reticent about how at odds their reality is to the false image they promulgate. Since her announcement the GOP have been cooing she is a "breath of fresh air." I agree, she is, but not for the reasons they were hoping. Not because she's a woman who will shake up the race and steal women voters from Obama, but because she finally puts a face on all those GOP baby mama-daddy shot gun weddings of political expediency.

In the words of an enthusiastic Republican female supporter, "You go girl!" Too bad the motivation behind her candidacy and the weak attempts to bolster it are as stale and old as those three words from the nineties. Now the baby mama drama was a nice touch, but we're over that, didn't she star in the movie this summer? Tina Fey, they looks so much alike. A scary thought just cross my mind, what if John McCain really thinks he's nominating the broad from "SNL," or even better he believes the chick from SNL is the governor from Alaska? I see his point, the guy from "Terminator" is governor of California. Somebody needs to find these things out. The man only met her once before putting her on the ticket.

Here's a novel approach for the McCain camp, stop insulting the voters and tell the truth. Admit Ms. Palin was never vetted. You made your crowded bed now lie in it -- baby mama, red neck daddy, moose and all.