01/05/2006 03:54 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

I Know Nothing About Politics and Proud to Finally Admit It...

... And even if I did think what I thought meant a hill of beans (an expression I rarely throw around unless I'm full of fear or perhaps battling a brief bout of impotency), approximately half the country would mock what I say. For sure, some would ridicule me and many would enthusiastically post anti-Semitic responses etc. On the other hand (yet another expression I despise, this one for its lack of originality) the other half of the nation, who shares most of my political views, would think I was either naive or a moron. And truthfully, I couldn't care less, because I know nothing about politics and am proud to finally admit it.

However, I do care deeply about our country and where it's at. And although I will forever have a fear of intimacy, that personal problem is so miniscule by comparison to my fear of what happened to the US and why.

I spend hours reading some of the most brilliant blogs from some of the most knowledgeable people on the planet. Every time I feel the need to talk about any number of the litany of tragedies and blunders that this administration has created and is blind to, I feel foolish even trying to write something meaningful and feel doubly idiotic thinking that writing something humorous serves any purpose. I'm stuck. And no shrink can help me. But if there was one who could, I would ask this: How in bloody hell did Al Gore or John Kerry not absolutely destroy President Bush in the debates in a manner so clearly demonstrating -- even to those diehard conservatives how ill-suited this president is to run a country -- let alone a baseball team -- that we would have at least eked out a victory? I know, I know -- the voting machines...screw that! How did they not get a knockout in a few minutes even on the first night?!

I watched in horror both debates as the authenticity of these two Democrats let this President off the hook and now we have a nightmare on our hands and for years to come.

Don't get me wrong, I love reading most of these blogs but I hope to hell the DNC figures out how to help the Democratic candidates this November to express themselves in a way that is not just honest and civil but so truthful and with real solutions so that we have a shot of getting out from under this "tri-fecta from hell." Aren't there political geniuses who can do that? It surely isn't this dreamer. Oh sure, I'll write stuff or get on talk shows in front of millions and sneak in a few quips to try and entertain as well, but that really is a hill of beans. We have to take to the streets in every state and march if we have to remind people that the way the right wing has framed the political arena is so fraudulent and scary that we must appeal to the sanity of the "undecideds" and stop the founding fathers' souls from being tormented over all the abuses and lack of compassion for the common man.

When I perform live... and lately I had a blast in Texas with no doubt many concert-goers who were believers in the rapture and pro-life and all the rest... I acknowledged them but then tried to say that they can still have their beliefs but also vote for candidates who want to represent all the values of this country that are slowly being eroded. Fine --don't believe in abortions and leave me stranded if I'm not allowed to at least take a day trip if there really is a rapture but come on, let's get the United States back on track and respected, not a target of cynicism practically worldwide. And I swear, those Texans applauded many times because they didn't feel threatened or attacked. For example, like when I can tell them that the soldiers are heroes but why the hell couldn't they have been sent to get Bin Laden first then maybe a few days off after that for some R&R. And then, if for some reason Iraq (which clearly a travel agent needed a few years to get a "Shock and Awe" itinerary together), had to happen, and we know all the mistakes with this war, still we would've gotten the "real bad guys" first. The majority of the country believes this amongst the many other things that the Democrats want but somehow the message gets muddled.

And in 2008, whoever runs, I pray to some higher power that the next democratic presidential candidate debates in a way that is fearless and truthful and hard-hitting and authentic and without regard to anything but laying out clearly what the past administration did so ruthlessly AND what we will do to try and begin to really help educate our children, tackle health care woes, the environment, the entire global state of affairs--oh hell, you don't need this fool to list the obvious.

I'm going to keep staying up nights reading these magnificent blogs but we'd better appeal to every heart and soul in OUR COUNTRY to vote in November and again, someone on this glorious site has to be able to help the next candidate when the debates come around (and the opponent clearly will be more difficult) to speak with passion and hope and give real answers and maybe we won't go to hell in a hand basket (the only time I've ever used that expression).