The Washington Post's Mensa invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Hat tip to Roger Fransecky.
Here are the 2009 winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
3. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
4. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
5. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
6. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
10. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
11. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
12. Glibido : All talk and no action.
13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
15. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
16. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.