08/13/2007 11:06 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

August 13, 2007 News Update

Record-Breaking Week:

Barry Bonds breaks all-time home run record. Does this mean steroids will get their own showcase at Cooperstown? Go A-Rod!

President Bush breaks own record for most vacation days as President. Iraqi parliament has a long way to go.

At least 31 American soldiers killed in Iraq so far this month. Death does not take a vacation.

One year after the fact, White House discloses Bush had case of Lyme Disease. Claims delay due to Executive Paralysis. Bush says he's giving up limes.

Congress goes on vacation. Gives Attorney General Gonzales rest of summer what not to recall.

Lithuania pulls out of Coalition of the Willing. El Salvador reducing forces in Iraq. British pulling out of Basra. Leaving Coalition of the Collapsed.

Mitt Romney "wins" straw vote in Iowa. At a cost of only $500 per voter.

Isn't it enough that Iowa has what should-be meaningless caucuses in addition to even more meaningless straw vote?

Never have so many media blowhards expended so much hot air over such a nothing event for so few people who are interested. No wonder we end up with so many third-raters in the White House if this is how we select our Presidents.

Mattel recalls almost one million toys made in China because they're covered in lead paint. So much for outsourcing to workers who make $1/day.

Ford Motor Company says a one million recall is peanuts. Ford is recalling 3.6 million vehicles because of faulty cruise control switch. So much for paying auto workers $25/hour.

Keith Richards to get $7 million or so for autobiography. But title Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll already taken. Hopes to replace Harry Potter with Keith Pot.

Sean Penn visits Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, says Venezuela is great country. Hey, Sean, try making a movie there that Chavez doesn't like.

Developers reportedly planning construction of hotel in space by 2012, with rates at $3-4 million for 3-day stay. Or slightly less than what it costs for a weekend in New York City. And if you believe this story, I've got a condo on Mars I'd like to sell you.

New York Times shrinks size of front page. All The News That's Fit to Pri.