02/11/2008 04:04 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Feb. 11, 2008 News Update

President Bush proclaims John McCain a "true conservative."' Huckabee notes that ain't what he said in 2000.

AOL poll shows most respondents think Bush's support hurts rather than helps. Especially among Democrats.

Super Tuesday coincides with Mardi Gras. For Romney, followed by Ashes Wednesday.

For McCain, Mardi Gras followed by conservatives giving him up for Lent.

Ann Coulter says she'll vote for Hillary versus McCain. With endorsements like that, who needs friends?

MSNBC's David Shuster suspended after suggesting Hillary Clinton was "pimping out" Chelsea on campaign trail. Who does he think he is, Chris Matthews?

Mass. Senators Kennedy and Kerry, Caroline Kennedy and Governor endorse Obama. Hillary wins primary. Ex-Governor Romney drops out of presidential race. And Patriots lose Super Bowl. Probably not a good week to play the Massachusetts lottery.

Media predicted big win for Obama on Super Tuesday. They're gonna keep trying 'til they get it right.

Prediction of the week: Barack Obama will win DC primary. (Yeah, I know I'm going out on a limb here).

In Cuban elections, Raul Castro wins 99.4% of vote versus Fidel's 99.1 %. Democracy in action. Non-Castro voters looking for small boats.

CIA Director says waterboarding necessary but probably illegal. Huh?

Sen. Kit Bond says waterboarding is like "swimming." And the rack is just a form of pilates.

Karl Rove hired as commentator for Fox, i.e., Fix News, Fox Noise. Wonder if he'll have any access to Bush administration?

Afghan farmers raising record crop of opium poppies. Comforting to know we're fighting to keep the world safe for heroin.

Wesley Snipes convicted of failing to file tax returns. Black Men Can't Evade.

John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Conan Bryan stage silly mock fight scenes. Writers, please, please, settle strike!

Scientists claim all blue-eyed people descended from same source. Isn't it nice to know if you have blue eyes that Paul Newman and Frank Sinatra are cousins?

Paris Hilton says Harvard is "hot." Yale thinks Paris Hilton is nuts.

Obama beats a Clinton (Bill) at Grammy Awards. Omen?

Rehabbed Amy Winehouse wins five Grammys. Paying attention, Britney?