06/05/2006 11:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

June 4 News Update

President Bush says his brother Jeb would make a "great President." How would he know what a great President is?

Jeb says he will not run in 2008. After George W., the only way another Bush could run for President would be for him to change his name.

A Snow falls. Bush names Goldman Sachs head Henry Paulsen to replace John Snow as Treasury Secretary. Rearranging the chairs on the deck of the Titanic? Or just not room enough in one administration for two Snows?

Vice President Cheney said not to be involved in Paulsen choice. This decision was decided by The Decider. Besides, Cheney was too busy planning next hunting trip.

Bush finally wins one. Named worst President since World War II in Quinnipiac poll.

Dixie Chicks hit #1 on the charts. See Quinnipiac poll.

Faced with soaring federal deficit, chaos in Iraq, runaway gasoline prices, Bush calls for constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. Strikes another blow for national security.

Marines accused of massacre in Haditha. How do you say My Lai in Arabic?

New exit strategy: US forces kill Iraqi civilians, new Iraqi government asks them to leave.

Karl Zinsmeister, new chief domestic policy advisor at White House, once referred to "a significant number" of reporters in Iraq as "whiny and appallingly soft." Tell that to Bob Woodruff and Kimberly Dozier.

Homeland Security grants cut for New York and Washington, DC. Grants increased for Louisville, KY--to keep Kentucky Derby safe from terrorists? And for Milwaukee--to keep breweries safe from terrorists? And for Omaha, Nebraska--to keep cows safe from terrorists?

The real story. Most terrorists are Muslims. Muslims won't touch pork. Spreading enough pork around will keep terrorists at bay.

Former Iraqi Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz shows up at Hussein trial in pajamas. Who does he think he is, a mob boss?

Pope Benedict XVI visits Auschwitz, asks Where was God? Forget God. Where was rest of the world?

Feds don't find Hoffa. Now they can go back to hunting for Osama bin Laden. Won't find him either.

Best sign of the week: "Aaron 755....Ruth 714....Bonds ***"