06/18/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

May 18, 2009: News Update

In commencement speech at Notre Dame, a Catholic University, President Obama calls for civil tone in national abortion debate. Anti-abortion demonstrators heckle him inside and stage protest outside. Most are reportedly members of various Notre Dame institutions, such as the Flat Earth Society, the Creationist Coalition and the Committee Against Global Warming. At least he got an honorary degree.

No such degree at Arizona State University, which said "his body of work is yet to come." Guess becoming first black President not enough body. He did get scholarship named for him. That's something. Why ASU? Tribute to Sen. McCain? Naah...

Michelle Obama gives a commencement address at University of Merced, California. No hecklers or protesters and gets honorary degree. Take that, Barry.

VP Biden tells interviewer his dog Champ is smarter than Obama's dog Bo. Bo also on shorter leash than Biden.

Amazon's new Kindle, an electronic reader with computerized voice, is said to have the same potential for newspapers as iPod had for music. But it can't pronounce Barack Obama. Perhaps they just guessed wrong in November. Back to the voicing board.

Actor Kal Penn hired for White House Office of Public Liaison. Guess they never saw "Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay."

Obama refuses to allow release of photos of prisoner abuse by US forces in Iraq and Afghanistan, announces plan to retain military commissions (with changes) for some Guantanamo detainees. There goes the ACLU vote.

Ex-VP Dick Cheney has spent more time on talk shows in past few weeks, using enhanced recollection techniques, than during entire final two years in office. Unmuzzled, unrepentant, unbending and, mostly, still unliked.

Cheney and Rush Limbaugh now the face of GOP-Goofy, Odd, Pathetic. Republicans to resurrect Nixon?

Biden reveals that Cheney's "undisclosed location" is a heavily fortified bunker in Vice President's official residence. Same place he had his personal water-boarder.

In a story of underwhelming national significance, Donald the Solomon ruled that Miss California will keep her runner-up position in his Miss USA contest after inexplicably causing controversy by saying she thought marriage should be between a man and a woman. As Jimmy Kimmel points out, Trump believes marriage should be between a man and a series of progressively younger women.

One of the contest judges, Perez Hilton (if you don't know who he is, that's not a bad thing) later called her a "dumb bitch" on his blog. She accused him of self-promotion. Think she learned anything about self-promotion from being around Trump?

Her 15 minutes of fame are now up to about 45 minutes, and in the near future, she'll co-host a session of "Fox and Friends" in the morning. That should get her out of the spotlight.

Quick -- Who actually won the Miss USA contest? What happened to her? Who cares?

Controversial comedienne Wanda Sykes to have late night show on Fox this fall. Guess her Limbaugh jokes at Washington dinner weren't so controversial after all.

California Governor Schwarzenegger says it's time to have a serious debate about legalizing marijuana. Wonder what Miss California thinks about that? He says pot should be treated like booze. Tobacco and alcohol lobbies say that will only happen over their drunken, cancerous bodies.

Maine legalizes same-sex marriage, joining five other states. As Maine goes, so will go the nation? Or even New York?

Sri Lanka declares end to 25-year war with separatist Tamil Tigers
after killing their leader. As Sri Lanka goes, when will go Iraq and Afghanistan?

Rachel Alexandra beats the boys in the Preakness, first filly to win it since 1924. Broke the lass ceiling?