05/26/2008 09:05 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Memorial Day, 2008, News Update

President Bush observes Memorial Day by placing a putter at the Tomb of the Unknowns.

Vice President Cheney gets a deferment from observing Memorial Day.

Cheney wears cowboy hat at commencement speech to Coast Guard Academy-a ten-gallon hat on a one-gallon head.

In this commencement season of giving honorary degrees, wouldn't you think the University of Massachusetts would revoke degree it gave to Zimbabwe dictator Robert Mugabe?

Hillary Clinton cites Bobby Kennedy assassination as reason for staying in race, will resume campaigning just as soon as gets foot out of mouth.

New York Post headline on Ted Kennedy's brain tumor: "Ted Is Dying." Well, at least they didn't try to make it catchy.

Fox Noose contributor Liz Trotta makes joke about somebody "knocking off" Obama. She's still alive?

Obama tells world to "lay off my wife." OK, then tell her to shut up.

John McCain said to start looking for vice presidential candidates. Needn't bother, Senator. Your running mate in November will be named George W. Bush.

Two top McCain aides leave campaign because of lobbying efforts, eight others linked to lobbying for unsavory clients. Looks like reformer credentials will require some refurbishing.

Former Georgia Congressman Bob Barr plans to run for President on Libertarian ticket. Sees race as fight to the finish against Ron Paul, Mike Gravel and Ralph Nader.

Former Pentagon official Douglas Feith writes book defending Iraq War, promotes it on televison-validates Gen. Tommy Franks' description of him as "dumbest f......g man on the planet."

Big Oil executives excoriated at congressional hearings because of high price of oil. Senators and Congressmen then go home for Memorial Day weekend to face angry constituents. Executives go home and raise price of gasoline.

Three of the five oil executives said they didn't know what their salaries were. Forgetful, disingenuous, evasive-or just plain embarrassed? OK, forget embarrassed.

Posters for movie "Sex and the City" banned in Jerusalem. No sex, please, we're Jewish.

NASA reportedly spends $250 million on project to convert urine into drinking water. Thanks, but I'll just stick with the Tang.