11/24/2008 02:39 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Nov. 24, 2008, News Update

NOV. 24, 2008, NEWS UPDATE

Barack Obama starts organizing administration. Pundidiots already carping about "lack of change." They just don't understand the
ABC's of change-Anti-Bush-Cheney.

Tremendous demand for tickets to Obama Inauguration. President Bush putting his tickets on E-Bay?

Alaska voters send Ted Stevens across Bridge to Nowhere. How about that for change?

Henry Waxman replaces auto industry lackey John Dingell as chairman of powerful House Energy Committee. Now that's real change.

Democrats allow turncoat Joe Lieberman to keep committee chairmanship. Missed a real opportunity for change there. Hey, Connecticut, how about a recall election in 2010?

Three weeks after election, Fox News no longer sitting shiva.

Hillary Clinton reportedly selected as Secretary of State. Sorry, Oprah.

Condi Rice acknowledges Bush Administration will not achieve Middle East peace agreement. Shocking news, shocking! But then, what has it achieved?

Timothy Geithner to be Secretary of the Treasury. Main Street says, Who? But Wall Street says, Yes. The real question: How good is he at bailouts?

Larry Summers to be head of Council of Economic Advisers. Looking for woman good at math for assistant?

Bill Richardson to be Secretary of Commerce. Chilly cabinet meetings with Hillary present?

Sarah Palin gets big bucks book contract. To be ghost written by Tina Fey?

Joe the Plumber also has book deal. To be ghost written by Sarah Palin?

Prince Charles celebrates 60th birthday-still a Prince. Wondering when the hell is that old lady going to die?

New James Bond movie, "Quantum of Solace," sets record opening-even though movie-goers don't have any idea what the title means.

Bond movie replaced as #1 at box office by vampire movie. Obvious conclusion: Next Bond movie has him fighting vampires.

"60 Minutes" scores interview with Barack and Michelle Obama.
Diane Sawyer scores interview with Ashley Dupre`, Eliot Spitzer's playmate. ABC describes it as "continuation of Sawyer's recent and exclusive reporting on prostitution." Does that make her the Hooker Correspondent?

Fox anchor E.D. Hill, who described Obama's fist bump with wife Michelle as "terrorist" act, leaving network after contract not renewed. Tried fist-bumping Roger Ailes. Didn't work.

Heads of Big Three automakers testify on Capitol Hill. Now you know why industry is so screwed up.

All three arrive in private jets. Congress tells them to come back with workable plan for survival. First step in plan? Firing public relations advisers. Will they return flying coach? How about Greyhound? With gas at $2 a gallon, they can even afford to drive.

UAW says it will not offer concessions to help bail out automakers. Unless Union leader gets private jet to fly to Washington.

Mexico City to give free Viagra and Cialis pills to elderly citizens. So, stay home. You won't get that across the border.

When sales at McDonald's and Wal-Mart are way up and sales at Starbucks are way down, you know you're in a recession. When Spam is flying off the shelves, you know you're in a depression.