1. What happen to the days when a man pulled up to a woman's house to take her on a date with flowers in his hand and butterflies in his stomach?
2. What happen to the days when a man opened the woman's car door just because he cared?
3. What happen to impromptu picnics in the park?
4. What happen to the days of walking a woman to her front door, kissing her on the cheek after the date and being satisfied with the attempt to win her heart?
5. What happen to the days when a man made it clear who he's dating?
A friend of mine shared a story about his grandparents who have been married for 70 years. They started dating when they were teenagers in high school. His grandfather shared with him, that back in his day when a man was ready to date a girl in high school, he gave the girl his jacket to wear. Everyone in the school knew they were an official couple by that simple gesture. Have we lost this in our technology age?
We have so many blurred lines when it comes to dating. We go from Talking+Sex+maybe a Movie= We Go Together Maybe? In most cases the man NEVER gives the woman a formal invitation to be exclusive. Which leaves her questioning after each sexual encounter "Are we TOGETHER?" I can tell you from past experiences if she didn't question me on it I wasn't gonna say a word. Sad, but true if a man feels like he's getting uncommitted sex with no rules even if he's not seeing anyone else he won't push the limits. We will continue down this path until the issue arises, then and ONLY then will we give you a suitable answer.
Ladies, know this if he tells you upfront, "I'm not looking for a relationship" beware because that's exactly what he means!!!! In either case the problem is, there is NO COURTSHIP!
Has courtship died? Is this the missing link in today's relationship process? Are we moving too fast? Are we getting a clear understanding of who we are dating? The courtship process is supposed to be a time when a man goes all out to get that special woman's attention. With one purpose in mind....MARRIAGE!!!! They didn't just date and bounce around the way we bounce around today. They also didn't throw in the towel on their relationship the way we do today. The conversation my friend shared with me about his grandfather touched me. This man passed on some very vital relationship tools in this courtship process.
Here's some of them:
It is not the woman's responsibility to court the man. She is to be the recipient of his love for her.
The physical contact came later in the relationship because, unlike today, sex back then was a BIG DEAL.
When a man made a commitment to a girl back then ... it was for a lifetime.
The man was so proud when that special someone said yes to the invitation to be exclusive, they let the world know through settle gestures.
I can't begin to tell you how many women have booked our massage services over the past 10 years in hopes to win a man's heart. During those years one young lady stands out to me because she booked massage sessions four separate times for four separate men each time hoping he was the one. Unfortunately this never ended in her favor. I do believe that a woman should make every attempt to show the man she's involved with she cares and he has her attention.
ONLY TO THE DEGREE HE IS SHOWING THAT SAME ATTENTION TO HER! MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT LADIES YOU SHOULD BE THE RECIPIENT... NOT THE SOLE GIVER.
A call to action:
Men, let's not let our fast-paced society dictate how fast or slow we move when getting to know that special someone. As important as sex is to us men, putting it to the side for the moment will give us a clear view of who and why we are courting the person we're courting. Chase her, let her feel like she's your Queen, Your Only Queen. Make every attempt to let her know you're in it for the long haul and as challenges arise give her the comfort of knowing that whatever it takes the two of you will work it out together. A woman's desire is comfort and security, both of which we have the ability to provide for her. I choose to believe that these kind of man still exist not because I live in a fantasy world but because I talk to them daily.