Albert Einstein did not have an erection when he developed the Theory of Relativity.
That is one outrageous claim I can make with full confidence knowing it's absolutely
true. No, I was not in the room at the time. I didn't have to be. I'm a man. I know
firsthand that it's impossible for men to form even the simplest thought after the
blood rushes south from our genius noggins. Can I get a witness?
Internet porn is changing who we are and I don't mean in a good way. Charles
Darwin could never have predicted how our species might devolve. Imagine the
purest look of horror on Darwin's face upon learning that the next image in his
elegant evolutionary progression -- culminating with the dignified, upright modern
man -- is followed by a revived Neanderthal lounging on a sofa with laptop and a
napkin. Grunt once if you understand what I'm saying, friends.
Men are at a serious disadvantage spending so much time artificially aroused and
I'm here to tell you guys -- you're being had. If there's one thing I hate it's when
someone tells me what to do, how to think and how to feel. The puppeteers of porn
are having a field day defining our sexualities for us and they're getting filthy rich in
Last week I had the opportunity to view some porn with a full supply of blood in my
cranium and the astute guidance of author Gail Dines. Oh sure, I had seen all stages
of nakedness on the Internet before but never had the images and the language
been so revealing to me. You might say that I suddenly saw the Emperor without his
clothes and it made me wonder how the innocent liquor store glances at Playboy
magazine had so quickly grown to the violent extremes of "Gonzo" porn. Oh, of
Just so it's clear: I'm no prude, there are no references to Biblical passages in this
article and Larry Flynt is not interested in your first amendment rights. Online
pornographers want your money and they will feed your most disturbing fantasy
to get it. If you're like me and you don't have any disturbing fantasies, one will
be invented for you and you'll learn to like it. What's your pleasure: 12 year-olds
with tattoos? Handicapped housekeepers? Humiliated Asian boys in bondage? If
you buy into the idea that all is fair amongst consenting adults, you should know
that your sons are being groomed as the next generation of porn consumers ... and,
interestingly enough, so are your daughters. Oh, is that YOUR rape fantasy website?
Well, your kids may have clicked on it too. "Dad, that is so rad!"
So, aside from your kids being emotionally scarred forever, what's the real harm
in all this porn? Well, I learned that one of the things I like most in life -- women
-- are being transformed by the porn culture. Not women themselves but the way
I perceive women. When I think of the millions of men glued to their computer
screens watching scenes of exploited girls and women in sex acts that most often
turn sadistic, I wonder how many licks it takes to get to the center of our Tootsie
Pop brains. How many distorted images do we need to watch before our actions
become equally distorted? How many times can someone see or hear women being
called "whores" before they begin to believe it themselves?
Even worse for me, because I work as an anti-human trafficking advocate, I have
the sneaking suspicion that porn has contributed greatly to the expansion of sex
trafficking worldwide and the numbers of children, women and men trapped in
modern-day slavery. Those being exploited in porn are not much different from
those being exploited in prostitution except the camera has been turned on for your
viewing pleasure. If you don't believe that your consumption of porn contributes
to the exploitation of innocents, then it may also be hard to convince you that the
line of coke you just snorted contributes to the suffering and loss of life south of the
border where fighting rages on so that you can get a good high at a low price. But
who am I to judge, I'm just beginning to come to my senses.
The real clincher for me is learning how the packaging and commoditization of sex
affects my own manhood. I mean, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt and
the people studying this subject talk about how the unrealistic and violent storylines
lead porn viewers further and further away from being able to relate to real women.
And, somehow, we begin to feel inadequate when measuring ourselves against studs
jacked up on ... well, pretty much everything. I could be wrong, but I'm guessing that
most men are not willing to permanently trade-in real women for Internet porn. Or
By the way, I'm sure some of you Pornbots will be inclined to call me an unflattering
feminine name for speaking out against the unabated proliferation of sex on the
Internet, but my masculinity is quite secure and that can be confirmed by the
breathing women to whom I relate in real life.
To summarize, the people making all the porn are also making all the money and
leaving millions of men with a handful of nothing. Enough smoke and mirrors. See
for yourself what you've been missing and check out Gail Dines' book, Pornland.
In the meantime, give your penis a holiday by putting thought into someone real. Pause
the porn for just one week to start. Just one week moves us all a little further from
primitive man and a lot closer to Einstein.
I have a feeling the women you know will appreciate the gesture.