01/10/2013 11:31 am ET Updated Mar 12, 2013

13 Things I Never Thought I'd Say To My Kids

I can remember crying in the back of my mom's maroon and cream Dodge Ram van circa 1987, "When I have kids I'm NEVER going to say, 'Because I said so!'"

Oh! The injustices I suffered in that van: being forced to sit in the back seat, being forced to sit beside my brother, being forced to get out of the car at school, being forced to get back in the car after school.

When I was a kid, there were a few phrases I swore I would never say to my own kids:

"Finish that. There are starving children in Africa."

"I don't care who made that mess, I'm telling YOU to clean it up."

"If I have to pull this car over..."

Oh, I had a plan.

I would reason with my children. I would explain to them that they needed to eat their dinner to be healthy and strong. They were part of a family and must contribute to housework because we are all members of the same team and I should never, ever, have to threaten them.


We would be so close. I would be so understanding. They would respect me. I wouldn't have to threaten them. I was going to be that good.

In one of those curveballs that life likes to throw, I've heard some of the things that have come out of my mouth lately. I've realized that I'm saying things I never even anticipated having to have to say to my children.

Here are a few of my favorites:

13 Things I Never Thought I'd Say To My Kids

And my parents score another point.

Tell us, what have you said to your kids that you never thought you'd have to say?