As a Professional Matchmaker, one of the things I consistently hear from women is that they wish men would compliment them more. Another thing I hear is that when men do compliment them, they wish the men would think first because many times their compliments really come across as insults. I find this to be odd given these women are referring to well-educated, successful, seemingly well-brought-up men. As a result, I polled some female members of my exclusive dating app, The Dating Lounge to find out the top 10 compliments that men have paid them that they hate the most. I figured if I share this list, then maybe, just maybe, the men will take a hint.
Here are the top 10:
1. Women hate You look cute. Cute is a word you use for a kitten or a newborn baby, not for a woman you are trying to make feel good about herself. Women much prefer the word beautiful-- you can't go wrong with beautiful.
2. Women hate You are so nice. Nuns are nice and so are nursery school teachers. Women prefer to be interesting or fun, not "nice."
3. Women hate You look fine. Fine is a word that people use when they have nothing else to say and really comes across more negative than neutral. Fine is very vanilla, it has no "umppph" to it at all. Try something like you look sexy or I love what you are wearing. Or if you don't like it, say nothing.
4. Women hate You look good. Good is the word you use when your dog is behaving, "good doggie." It's not a word you use if you are trying to compliment a woman. A woman wants to hear that she looks pretty, not good.
5. Women hate You look okay-- Okay is even worse than fine. It's very nonchalant and it sounds negative. Ok is like a C-; no one ever wanted a C-.
6. Women hate You are zaftig. Everyone knows that zaftig is code word for fat, so don't try to use as a compliment. Ever.
7. Women hate You beat to your own drummer. This phrase is usually code for weirdo. A woman wants you to think she is unique, but not so unique that she feels like you think she is bizarro, a freak and not desired.
8. Women hate You look different today, you look pretty. This one is immediately interpreted to mean that you thought she looked bad before and now that she changed herself, she looks pretty. Bad move. You want her to think she looks pretty today but that she also looked pretty yesterday. Skip the different, no need for it.
9. Women hate You look natural. This one will immediately get interpreted that you think she needs to put on more makeup. You might just like her looking natural but by saying it, she will think you are trying to find a nice way to tell her that she looks like she just rolled out of bed and that she needs to fix herself.
10. Women hate You look normal. What does that mean anyway? No one wants to be normal. Normal is like everyone else. A woman wants you to think that she is unique, one of a kind, special; don't call her normal.
Any other "compliments" that you really don't like?
Samantha Daniels is a well-known Professional Matchmaker and Dating Expert as well as the founder of The Dating Lounge, the exclusive invitation-only iPhone dating app for upscale people looking for real relationships. You can follow her on Twitter @Matchmakersd. For more information, go to www.SamanthaDaniels.info
Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter: MatchmakerSD