12/01/2011 11:10 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

World's Biggest The Walking Dead Fan

Just because I've never seen an episode of AMC's monster hit The Walking Dead doesn't mean I'm unqualified to recap it. After all, I've never seen Lost or A Game of Thrones, but that hasn't stopped me from recapping either series in their entirety (incidentally, the amount of hate mail I received after mocking Lost dwarfed the not-inconsiderable amount of hate mail I've gotten for making fun of Michele Bachmann, Sarah Palin, or conservatives in general.) So, without further ado, please enjoy my scintillating, spoiler-filled, dead-on analysis of The Walking Dead, a show I plan to never, ever watch.