05/08/2015 06:59 pm ET Updated May 08, 2016

What Moms Really Want on Mother's Day

Hernan Piñera/Flickr

At first, after becoming a mom, I was confused about celebrating my firstborn's birthday. I mean, who had the ''birth day'' here? It was I who went through the labor, and boy, they don't call it 'labor' for nothing. While motherhood has been the best thing to ever happen to me, I worked hard for all seven of my kids, and I have war wounds to prove it. Speaking of war wounds, I remember asking my midwife during my second pregnancy, "What is this dark mark on my leg?" In lieu of an answer, she proceeded to raise the sleeve of her shirt and say, "This is what I got from baby number two! Can you believe this dark spot?" The nurse who was in the room grabbed her lower stomach and said, "I can beat the both of you! Since the C-Section this tummy roll has never gone away." And so the war stories continue every time I mention pregnancy and birth to a friend, neighbor or even random strangers. Just ask any woman about her last pregnancy or birth and as soon as she is finished squealing with the delight of mommy-hood, she will readily reveal the scars she has to show for it. And it doesn't stop there. Women's war wounds, as well as their joy, are present during every stage of their children's life...

So, if we don't get appreciated for our 'birth days,' I suppose as a consolation prize we were given Mother's Day. But man, has the industry got it all wrong when it comes to presents! I mean, chocolate, really? Come on! Do you know how may crunches I have to do to burn off just one piece of gooey caramel? The last time I was on the treadmill sweating and crying, with my legs cramping, the stupid machine showed I had burned only 143 calories after a full 45 minutes! And flowers? As gorgeous as they are, are havens for all sorts of pesky pollen. Did you notice that Mother's Day comes in the spring, hence allergy season? Personally, I don't look that attractive wheezing with watery eyes, and besides, after a few days' flowers wilt and die -- and who wants that uplifting reminder?

So, what is the conclusion here? A caffeine scrub may just help us with our post-baby cellulite! Although that all sounds like a Hollywood dream come true, the truth is all us moms want is our children as close to us and as present as the bodily scars they've left us with. We want phone calls and visits and even want to hear how many times a day you sneeze! You lived inside of us and then on top of us and then beside us and we wouldn't have it any other way. You are with us in our every step and thought and letting us know we are there with you too will go further than a little laser to resurface our permanently crinkled foreheads from the nights we've spent awake worrying about you.

On this Mother's Day, if you can't help us erase our war wounds, just acknowledge them, and realize that every single one of them was a labor of love. To tell you the truth, we wouldn't trade even one of them for all the chocolate and flowers in the world. Twitter @sarachanas