05/24/2013 05:04 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Barre None: What Is Your Beauty?

Welcome to Barre None, my new video blog exclusively on Huffington Post. I'm Sara Mearns and I hope to be your tour guide into the world of classical ballet. You might ask yourself, "Why a video blog that goes behind the scenes of a classical ballet dancer's daily life?" Because what you see on the stage does not begin to capture what ballet or our lives are all about. You see the performance, but what you don't see -- the rehearsals, the costume designs, the frazzled nerves, the learning of a new ballet, the constant travels around the world, the injuries and the oftentimes long, painful road to recovery that lead us to wonder if this is the injury that can end a career -- it's all a part of what we do and who we are.

I'm only one dancer, but I hope that by giving you a window into my life as a principal ballerina at New York City Ballet, a door will be opened to more interest, curiosity, and enthusiasm for this artform that I, and so many others, love and work so hard for. So come on in, pull up a seat, and join me every Friday. You'll have a great time. I promise. Barre None.


I believe that is the question we are all seeking to answer because what we find beautiful will make us happy and ultimately, everyone is searching to be happy. Did I start deep enough for you? Ha ha, sorry about that.

It seems I have been inspired to write from a very unexpected situation which, up until now, has caused me unbelievable happiness but also grief. It also made me dig so deep into my soul and question what makes me truly happy. What inspires me to wake up everyday and go to the theater, which lately has also been a struggle emotionally and mentally. It's true that everyone, particularly artists, go through phases of un-inspiration (Is that a word? If not, you get my point.) and self-doubt about their craft or talent. I'm apparently in that phase right now and treading just above the water line so I don't drown. All dramatics aside, I need to find that sense of beauty again. I've had tiny moments here and there this week but nothing to blow my mind. Is it a certain person I am missing in my life? Or is it something about myself that is missing?

Someone once told me that waking up everyday brings a new beginning, a new start. Lately I believe I have been stuck in that movie, "Groundhog Day," where the days just keep repeating themselves. I am honestly ready for a spring awakening, no pun intended, and for the next morning to bring a fresh start. But first, I must find the beauty in life again. My beauty in life. It is a constant uphill battle that an artist climbs everyday -- some days, months, years, are better than others. I hope I am not discouraging you from becoming an adult or an aspiring artist, just know that happiness will never come without finding your definition of beauty. One thing I know for sure is that perfection is no where to be found in my definition. You will find failure, recovery, underdog, imperfection, struggle, confidence, optimism, gratitude, fear, adventure, passion and above all the confidence to say to someone "You are beautiful." Saying those three words to someone will bring you all the beauty and the love the world has to offer.

Maybe I should take my own advice and practice. Thank you for allowing me to open up in a way I have never experienced. This has been truly a great adventure. See you next week.

Check out last week's video blog here.

You can find Sara Mearns on twitter here: @nycbstar2b.