08/08/2014 12:07 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

5 Blog Posts I Don't Need to Read Again

We could use some new stories about ourselves and our lives. What do you think? These posts were good the first time we saw them, but can we have some new topics? Let's not write these:

The one with the humble brag.
I'll go ahead and say it first. It's OK to brag. I support you. If you won an Oscar, please don't share it on your page and say "this happened." The paradox of that comment was funny the first time, but it's not cute anymore. If you won something OWN IT! Besides, pretending that it was an accident that you're smart, successful or being recognized for something that matters to you is to tell a big, fat lie. Amy Adams did not accidentally move to L.A. and become a famous actress. She worked at it. She deserves the credit. You do, too.

The one about how stupid you are.
We all make mistakes, as the saying goes. A lot of them can be helpful or funny and some of them are just stupid. Please keep posting these things on Facebook and YouTube. But this does not make you stupid, so please stop saying that. Everyone has a purpose in life. Yours might be to teach us not to do that thing with our hair. The other night my friend Vikki wrote a blog post that started "I was planning to have a glass of wine and give the cat a bath." It did not end well. Clearly, she is a genius. If no one is willing to do stupid things and tell people about it, electricity would not have been invented. If no one is willing to put stupid things on YouTube, we wouldn't have the X Games. Keep up the good work. You're not stupid.


The one where you meet someone "famous"
You were at a conference or a concert or Disneyland and you met OMG, OMG, OMG that famous person! What is her name? I am really excited, because you are really excited. And I will cry, if you cry. But this event doesn't necessary make this a blog post. Meeting a famous person does not make you famous. Doing something amazing makes you famous, sometimes. Sometimes it just makes you an unrecognized writer, artist, musician, scientist, philanthropist or person. Being excited about famous people for their own sake makes you Kim Kardashian. If you're going to write a post about a famous person, please tell me how you were influenced by this person. I am on your blog, after all, reading about you, so I am probably interested in you. For real. Forget the famous person. Let's hear more about you.

The one about body shame.
Your body can do amazing things. Can we please talk about that? My butt is fat, at least by supermodel standards. And my boobs are flat by the same reasoning. But I can walk. And breath. And see without glasses. I know. Impressive. And I almost did that thing in yoga the other day where you put your knees on your arms and then take your feet off the ground. It was cool. And weird. I've also birthed two babies in my late 30s. The shame we feel about our bodies has now been sufficiently pointed out, and continuing to point it out even more, and over and over again does not create less shame. It causes more shame, because now we are shamed about our shame. LET'S. PLEASE. STOP.

The one about your social anxiety.
We can all relate. You are going into a social situation -- a conference, a party, a mom's group, a new job -- and you will be meeting new people who will be judging you. Or maybe you are giving a talk or receiving an award, so we've already judged you and now we are going to judge you EVEN MORE. First, nice job on the award. Second, this doesn't make you unusual. This makes you normal. If you weren't anxious about seeing people and doing a good job, you would either suck too much to get an award or you would be a sociopath. So, lucky you, you've got a reason to do good work or be a good person. And you're not a sociopath.

When I finished this post, I messaged Vikki and asked if I could quote her cat story. And we laughed and laughed and laughed, because we have each written every single one of these types of posts.