06/18/2014 04:01 pm ET Updated Aug 18, 2014

Your Parents Lied and Cheated

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Age -- and especially parenthood -- gives you some perspective. Suddenly, you understand your own parents in a whole new light. And that's when the realization sets in: Your parents lied and sometimes cheated. Turns out:

Leaving the front door open won't "heat the entire neighborhood."

It really wasn't time to go to bed at 6:00 p.m..

You could have done anything -- short of burning down the house or harming your siblings -- if you had just let your parents sleep an extra hour.

Your parents were lying when they said there's nothing good on television past 8 o'clock.

When the bedroom door was locked, it wasn't because your parents were "getting dressed."

Other kids did not necessarily shovel snow, mow the lawn or rake leaves when they were 10 years old.

Your parents cheated to make Candy Land end sooner.

Your mom didn't really "spin a 20" to win Chutes and Ladders on her second turn.

The Chutes and Ladders spinner only goes up to 6.

The bedtime story was actually much longer than "just five pages."

Your parents didn't "do the dishes" or "clean up the kitchen" after you went to bed. They quietly ate more of the desserts they said you couldn't have.

Your parents ate your Halloween candy.

Misbehaving in a crowded restaurant was the perfect time to get anything you wanted. ("Do you want to get ice cream after dinner? Then sit down and be quiet.")

It was physically impossible for your face to "freeze that way."

Other kids got more than five cents from the Tooth Fairy.

Your pet goldfish was actually three different fish that looked the same.

The "Spwater" your dad gave you when you asked for Sprite was really just water.

That dandelion you gave your mom wasn't the most beautiful thing ever.

Your juices were watered down.

Your mom threw away 80% of your drawings and schoolwork.

She kept the special 20% in a drawer. She cries over them today, now that you are gone.