02/05/2013 06:24 pm ET Updated Apr 07, 2013

The Secret Behind Failed Relationships

Whether you are a boy meeting a girl, two people entering a business relationship, long-time friends or just communicating on Facebook, it happens, time after time, and it's the ultimate destruction of all relationships.

Our biggest problem is that we think other people's realities are equivalent to our own. When that misconception gets out of hand, we transform into our own opponent. We are the enemy we are fighting and usually the other person has no idea... enter crazy.

We've all been there, reacting to a story that has played out in our heads to the point that we are so convinced we would almost bet our lives that it is true. Learning the hard way, it doesn't take long to find out that we couldn't have been more wrong.

The bottom line is, we are the only actor in our own movie; half the time we think that other people are participating in this enactment we have created, when the reality is they are totally clueless.

Perception is 100 percent the basis of our reality. The stories we create in our minds when in a state of panic and fear are solely based on our own insecurities, beliefs, values and ideals. When we react to any given situation based on fear and all emotions resulting from fear, we are no longer part of a two-person situation.

The cause of most relationship failure is participating in a reality that in reality we are the only one involved in. In doing so, the other person has no choice but to retreat, because there is no possible way they can be an equal voice in a situation that doesn't really exist and is created on sheer illusion.

In the meantime, we just waste time worrying and stressing, all the while devaluing our selves and not living up to our soul potential. The opponent is the strongest when he/she turns into us and takes the roll of our own mind.

Our own worst enemy hides behind the least conspicuous door. Every time you react, take a long look in the mirror and make sure it's worth giving up a piece of your heart for.

This is your movie; you decide how to produce it. You decide the roll you play and how it affects your story and the stories around you. If we choose to carefully understand why we react the way we do and assess the situation before we get consumed by our emotions, we have a fighting chance to a successful relationship.

Everyone is a reflection of something inside us. What we avoid becomes our focus, and what we focus on grows. The more we avoid our darkness, the more it will present us with scenarios that force us to face the very thing we are trying to hide from. The things we despise most are a reflection of our deepest fears. Introspection is a life-long journey, so before we go blaming someone else for our frustrations, we must start by looking in the mirror and uncovering the mask to discover what it is we are hiding from.

This can be a very intense experience, but as soon as we face it and clear it, our relationships with people with transform. We will create deeper more meaningful connections with people and we will feel less stressed and more understanding. As a result, improving the quality of life we have and allowing us to feel the joy we deserve.

Sari Gabbay -- True Prosperity

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