Hypothetical tweets from real NFL figures!
@JayCutler6 Customs asked me if I had anything to declare. I told them, "Yes - my offensive line is a joke." #turnstiles
@shawnemerriman We were stopped at the Canadian border and accused of trying to smuggle a victory back into the U.S. #nothappening
@ChrisCanty99 The over/under is 10 on the number of times our defense sacks Charlie Whitehurst. #turfnose
@MilesAustinIII At least we didn't sign @r81m (Randy Moss). #noIinteam
@7mvick (Michael Vick) Hey Philly, what's up? The Michael Vick experience is back! #andsoismcrib
@bbanks16 (Brandon Banks) Does Coach Shanahan really think that JaMarcus Russell can run the two-minute offense better than Donovan McNabb? #weightyissue
@AaronRodgers12 Hmmm, wasn't this game with Dallas supposed to be a preview of the NFC championship game? #howboutthemcowboys
@7tjackson (Tarvarius Jackson) We're playing Arizona - one of the few teams with a worse situation at quarterback than we have. #takingitonthechin
@jschwartzlions (Jim Schwartz) Tell Rex Ryan that even though his team is 5-2, they've been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. #fuzzymath
@TGonzalez88 (Tony Gonzalez) Michael Turner should have at least 300 yards rushing against Tampa Bay. #itchouldhappen
@EarnestGraham We should have at least 300 yards total offense against Atlanta. #fatchance
@drewbrees The rumors are all true - my leg has been amputated. #stillmightstart
@jonbeason Just to tick off @JimmyClausen I told him that he's not even the best rookie quarterback on our team. #pikespeak
@LarryFitzgerald Coach Whisenhunt should keep me on the sidelines - I'd have a better chance of catching Derek Anderson's passes from there. #outofbounds
@DCarr_5 (David Carr) Are Alex Smith and Troy Smith related? #notexactly
@MardyGilyard Can you believe people still don't take us seriously? #hardtoimagine
@Hasselbeck (Matt Hasselbeck) There's no way I'm starting Charlie Whitehurst for my fantasy football team this week. #nooneelseiseither
@Mark_Sanchez It's a good thing Rex Ryan doesn't get fined for his body language. #timetoeatthedonuts
@brianhartline We're shooting for a wild card berth so that we'll get to play all our playoff games on the road. #watchoutforbedbugs
@GaryGuyton59 Coach Belichick is sending Rex Ryan a gift basket to thank him for cutting Danny Woodhead. #isitedible
@LaMarrWoodley James Harrison wants to know why Keith Olbermann wasn't fined for giving his money away. #suspensionofdisbelief
@RayRice27 Hey Joe Flacco - wasn't this supposed to be a breakout season for you? #fantasyvsreality
@joehaden23 Coach Mangini's worried that Bill Belichick has spies videotaping our practices. #paranormal
@OGOchoCinco We're going to direct snap the ball to @nufced32 (Cedric Benson) every play and use Carson Palmer to block James Harrison. #noints
@VinceYoung10 Hey @r81m (Randy Moss) - Kenny Britt and I are going out tonight - want to join us? #cateredaffair
@RobertMathis98 Let me get this straight - people in Philly boo Santa and cheer @7mvick (Michael Vick)? #insanityclause
@MarcedesLewis89 @davidgarrard9 is one of the most underrated quarterbacks in the NFL. #selectivememory
@briancushing56 I wonder if we can hold Philip Rivers to less than 800 yards passing. #probablynot
@big_cel (Marcel Reese) This is a must-win game for us if we want our next home game to be televised locally. #silverandblackedout
@jcharles25 (Jamaal Charles) None of our players were born yet the last time a Chiefs-Raiders game meant something. #neitherwasmethuselah
@rmathews24 (Ryan Mathews) Our receiving corps is so depleted that we're working on plays where Philip Rivers throws to himself. #dualthreat
@knowshonmoreno Not sure whether Coach McDaniels told us "get over the loss" or "get lost". #probablythelatter
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.