06/07/2013 01:55 pm ET Updated Aug 07, 2013

Top 8 Lessons of the NSA Spying Scandal

In the wake of the spying scandal involving the National Security Agency, also known as the NSA, here is my top eight list of things we learned from this revelation:

8. There is no scandal. No one spied on anyone and you never heard of the NSA.

7. When making phone calls or sending emails, always add the words 'Just Kidding!' at the end to make sure the government doesn't label you a terrorist.

6. If you receive a sudden email from someone who claims to know about your cross-dressing activities, it is probably coming from inside Fort Meade Army Base, and it's probably real.

5. If you don't pay your Verizon phone bill and they cut you off, your credit might get ruined, but your criminal activities will then be safe from discovery.

4. Google is no longer a viable option to do research on explosives. Try Bing.

3. Our own government may just have replaced China as the biggest Cybersecurity threat to the United States. The Chinese are thankful to us for taking the heat off them.

2. Chris Brown has a serious attitude problem (as in my last Top 8 list, this one has absolutely nothing to do with the topic but was fun to include)

And the biggest lesson we learned from the NSA spying scandal:

1. If you ever feel guilty about surfing porn, just remember that you are also making some tech geek at the NSA very happy at the same time.

SERIOUSLY SKEWED is brought to you by Sanjay Sanghoee, a political and business commentator. Sanjay is a banker and is the author of two thriller novels, including "Killing Wall Street". For more information, please visit