02/14/2014 04:09 pm ET Updated Apr 16, 2014

20 Surefire Ways to Embrace Your Single Self, Even if You Are in a Relationship

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Whether you are single or in a romantic relationship, embracing yourself is essential for lasting happiness. Learning how to keep the romance alive in your relationships is about connecting with your authentic self. When is the last time you said, "I love you," to yourself? Adding more love into your life starts with yourself.

I work with a lot of women in my workshops and private coaching sessions who feel stuck in life and who find their relationships emotionally exhausting. So many of us lose ourselves in our romantic relationships; we try to morph into a version of who we think we should be, hoping our partner will love this version of us more than our true self.

True love encourages us to be more of who we really are, not less.

I know from personal experience that the fastest way to create real romance is to love yourself first, and this list can help. When it comes to lasting love and keeping the romance alive, it's less about "we" and more about "me." Here are 20 surefire ways to embrace your single self

If you're ready to revamp your romance, these unexpected tips can help:

1. Forgive your past lovers.

2. Look in the mirror daily and tell yourself that you're beautiful.

3. Be your own best friend first.

4. Learn to laugh at yourself.

5. Support your partner's growth.

6. Love more, worry less.

7. Stop comparing your relationship to those of other couples.

8. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.

9. Choose compassion over fear.

10. Be more vulnerable.

11. Recognize the stories you tell yourself.

12. Let go of the need to be right.

13. Trust your own intuition.

14. Remember, love is supposed to be simple.

15. Don't postpone joy.

16. Listen without interrupting.

17. Focus on what is working rather than what's not.

18. Let go of trying to keep score.

19. Play like children together.

20. Believe in happily ever after.