08/12/2014 02:34 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

3 Steps to Pull Yourself Out of Hopelessness


The moment I heard that one of my best friends was in the hospital for brain surgery to remove a tumor, I held my breath and fell into worst-case scenarios. My mind catapulted back in time replaying the last conversation I had with him. Would that be the last conversation with him ever?

I raced to the neurosurgery unit. I was consumed with fear, but my friend, the one in the hospital, with IVs pumped into his body from all angles, was strangely peaceful. He had a smile on his face.

He looked at me and said, "It is out of my hands and I am at peace." It was in that moment I understood what it meant to truly have faith. Here I was hopeless and stuck in fear, and my friend had faith and he felt inner peace.

Jim Carrey and Deepak Chopra have a philosophy about hope -- they don't believe in it. In fact, hope is a tricky emotion that is rooted in fear. Many people turn to hope, when they want things to work out, but even in our hope we secretly feel hopeless.

"I hope I get a job!" (But I'm over-qualified for everything I am applying for, sigh, I'll never make what I used to be worth.)

"I hope I meet the one soon." (But no one ever approaches me, finding love is hopeless.)

"I hope I lose weight!" (But no matter what I try, the scale number won't budge, sigh, I am hopeless.)

"I hope this works and I will finally be happy." (But I've been stuck and miserable for so long, no one really understands me, it's hopeless.)

Have you been hoping your way into what you want, but holding on to hopeless energy?

As Deepok Chopra says, "Hope is desperate." It is needy. It is a false pretense to getting what you want. Jim Carrey says, "Hope is a beggar."

Faith is a tricky thing because it's not something tangible. We can't put a measure on our faith -- we just have it or we don't. Many of us think we have it, but we mask it in hope.

It wasn't until I bypassed hope and went to faith did I pull out of depression. I don't believe in hope. Hope doesn't change things. Faith does. Hope doesn't save peoples lives. Faith does.

Having faith is a belief system we can cultivate with practice. There are three simple steps you can take to pump up your inner faith muscles. Remember, faith is about believing in what you can't see. The more confident you are in the big picture the easier it will be to align with faith. These three steps can help you have more faith.

1. Release Fear From the Past
Most often we have fears from the past replaying in the moment. This prevents us from having faith that things will work out the way we want them to. If you are having a hard time "faithing it until you make it," ask yourself if you are focusing on the past. If so, release your fear from the past by healing the scars from situations that keep coming up. Forgiveness will release the hurt and allow you to be present in the moment.

2. Faith It Till You Make It
Faith is about embracing the unknown but trusting it will work out in your favor. This can be a tall order if you are stuck in fear. Release your fear by turning to love. Love is light, inspiration and uplifting energy. If you align with what feels right vs. what feels wrong, you will be aligning with faith.

3. Ask the Universe for Guidance and Release

Don't be afraid to ask the universe for guidance. Whether it be prayers, meditation, or journal writing, asking for what you want will allow it to come to you. Many folks spend their time focusing their attention on what they don't want. This is not faith. This is fear. Faith is a trust in the future and knowing that all you desire is on its way to you.

When you ask for you what you want, it is like putting in your order with the universe. The secret is to ask, and then release. You don't have to keep asking. Asking of the universe is a lot like going out to eat. You wouldn't drive up to a fast food window and ask over and over for your order. You simply ask once, you put your order in and drive forward. You are confident your order was received and you will soon receive what you asked for.

The same is true for your dreams. When you ask, align with the confidence that your order has been received and move forward in your life with the trust all is in right order.

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