'Our Mom Is So Calm!' by Ms. Seuss

The sun did not shine,It was too wet to play.So we sat in the house,All that cold, cold wet day."Teacher Training" it was,And the kids were off school.The Mom thought she could work,but the Mom was a fool.

"Play with us!"Said the spawn."Play Play Play Play Play Play!"And the Mom got no work doneThat whole freakin' day.

Hide 'n' Seek, Boggle, Yatzhee,Zingo, Leggos, Lite Brite.One game lasted two hours,While her tongue Mom did bite.

And did those kiddosAppreciate Mom?Did they even acknowledgethat Mom is da bomb?

"Our Mom is so calm!"Said no one that day."What self-control!"Said no one, ever, not one, nope, no, nay.

"Play with us!Said the spawn."Play Play Play Play Play Play!""We'll resist being sentto watch TV today!"

"Can we help you make lunch?Macaroni and cheese?Oops, we dropped in some dog hair,a Sharpie, and keys!"

"Six boogers, an eggshell,Some blood from a cut,Oops, sorry, touched the mac'n'cheesewith my butt!"

The Mom closed her eyes,took a deep, cleansing breath.She resisted the thoughtOf her own peaceful death.

But did anyone say"Our Mom is so calm!She should blow up, but insteadhandles stress with aplomb!"

"Our Mom is so calm!"Said no one that day."What self-control!"Said no one, ever, not one, nope, no, nay.

"We'll bounce on our beds!We'll fall off and cry!We'll run with scissors,'til someone loses an eye!"

"We'll poop and not flush!We won't wash our hands!We'll aim for your boobiesand shoot rubber bands!"

"We'll dress up the dogsin your bras and your undies!We'll tell you we stealfrom the church plate on Sundays!"

"We won't bathe andbrushing our teeth is a saga!We'll tell you we'll grow upto be Lady Gaga!"

Mom takes a time-out,The Mom counts up to ten.Asks Jesus to take her,doesn't specify when.

But does anyone say"That Mom is a rock"?Does anyone realizeshe's an emotional jock?

"Our Mom is so calm!"Said no one that day."What self-control!"Said no one, ever, not one, nope, no, nay.

Then, just before bedtime,When Mom's reached her ceiling,One dirty, un-toothbrushedbrat says with some feeling:

"Mommy, you're nice".And there it is, just in time,the whole rotten dayturns around on a dime.

But does Mom let it go?

Let the moment just be?

Are you kidding?!

It's time to appreciate me!