Thousands and thousands of photographs sit in a large, plastic bin, haphazardly sorted by year. Even with all of the work I've done scanning photos to my computer, these thousands still wait to be dealt with. I carefully peeled them out of their albums years ago, concerned they would disintegrate in the cheap plastic pages, dating some of them, others a mystery.
- Friends from high school I haven't spoken to in 30+ years? Gone.
- My bachelorette party for my first wedding? Gone.
- Playgroups from the toddler years with mothers and children whose names I can't recall? Gone.
- Friends who drifted away, their children, their families? Gone.
- The hundreds of bad pictures of my perfect babies? Gone.
- Blurry, hazy, pointless? Gone.
I sort through the photos, marveling at the changing haircuts and hair colors of all of the women, the mom jeans and vests we wore in the '90s. I see the men's hairlines receding, color fading to gray, the dated, pleated pants long gone from closets.
I keep the photos, however random, that are of my home, in it's many incarnations -- the first sofa we bought together, navy blue with tiny white polka dots, our initial purchase for our new home that we bought 23 years ago -- the home we still live in. The pictures of me in the kitchen, the old version before we remodeled it just a few years ago. The photos of the backyard -- first with the Little Tykes playhouse and car, then the addition of a family room and bedroom, then the pool... so many things we've changed over the years.
I keep the shots of crowds, even if no one is looking at the camera -- Christmas with the family when the kids were tiny, Hanukkah parties with friends, candles being lit, gifts being opened. All of the faces so much younger. The moment captured, people in motion, looks of surprise, joy, annoyance -- these are the photos to keep.
Where does all the time go?
Does it sit in a plastic bin of photos, waiting to be let out like a genie in a bottle, taking me back to moments I would never remember without these glossy images to remind me? As I sort through the photos the present seems to rapidly disappear as the past takes up residence on my kitchen table.
There's the first day of kindergarten.
There's the last day of elementary school.
There's the first t-ball game, softball game, big-girl bed.
There's the Barney the Dinosaur doll that went everywhere with us, the blankies so loved, the tiny stroller with baby dolls that was pushed round and round my house, through the kitchen, dining room, living room, family room, kitchen, dining room...
There are Halloween costumes -- ballerinas and bunnies, Clifford the Big Red Dog and Power Rangers. School parades and pageants, best friends and birthday parties. So many photos of my children. So much to remember. So much more I wish I hadn't forgotten.
I have to step away from the task every hour or so, my heart filling up with both joy and melancholy. A visual roller coaster of wonderful moments, but so many of the faces are are gone forever now.
Where does all the time go?
My dear friend calls to tell me her daughter is getting married. I tell her I've found a picture of us dressed up like greasers and bobby-soxers for Halloween.
"I never wear costumes!" she says.
Neither do I. But I have the photos to prove that we did.
Her daughter is getting married. Time is flying. Twenty years ago, our little children at home with babysitters, we dressed up in costumes and went to a party. Now she'll be buying a wedding dress for her eldest child. We wonder how we can hold on to the moments.
"It's a lot to take in," I tell her.
And I return to my photos.
Previously published on Empty House Full Mind
Read more from Sharon Greenthal on Midlife Boulevard
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.