01/29/2015 04:22 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Moms Confess 20 More F'ed Up Things Their Kids Have Done

While you're still reveling in the optimism of your New Year's Resolutions, we thought it might be nice to remind you what's REALLY in store for the rest of 2015. Sure, you're going to cut back on sugar (good for you!), but while you're feeling lighter on your feet, your kids will still continue to surprise, disgust and dismay you. Ever notice that kids don't give a flying one about resolutions? And while we're sorry to be the bearers of bad news, we bring you a little bit of hope.

Below you'll read a collection of 20 stories gathered from our show, "The Pump and Dump: A Parentally Incorrect Comedy Show and Night Out, For Once" (you can see more stories here and here). At each show, we provide an index card to audience members and ask them to write down the most f'ed up thing their kid has done, and then we read them aloud on stage. It's amazingly cathartic, hilarious and completely true.

So, if your resolution was to be a little more zen about the whole parenting thing this year, we think these stories will give you a good boost of morale to keep going and remember that you're an awesome parent!

(Want to share your own story? Come see us in Los Angeles Feb 4 and Phoenix March 12th!)

20 More F'ed Up Things Kids Have Done

We hope you had a good laugh! Check us out online or on Facebook and please do grab your #BREEDER friends and come see us at a show. We promise if you don't laugh, you can throw breast milk at us.

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