He says I still have that new bride smell.
That man I exchanged I do's with almost 26 years ago... the man I promised to love and to cherish, to honor and cook for, and to continue to laugh at his potty humor until death do us part.
Twenty-six.
Wow.
In that amount of time, people tend to accumulate things. Things that may or may not have a real use later on down the road, yet they stay on the shelf -- tucked away for later. Or maybe these things were actually used for years, used to the point that even the donation truck might leave them on the side of the road.
We have things like that.
1.A kitchen trashcan in the most beautiful '80s shade of baby blue. While it has served a long and useful life of 26 years, the cracks extend a wee bit further down the side each week.
2.The hamper for our dirty clothes that was purchased on a romantic shopping trip to Cost Plus, during which time we declared, "Let's join our dirty clothes!" and it still serves dutifully. Unfortunately, there are no cracks and I think this one may outlast us all.
3.A toaster oven, which was lovingly gifted to us on our wedding day by a wedding guest who shall remain nameless (because I can't remember). Hubs feels that the toaster oven is the be-all-end-all of kitchen appliances. I think it looks like a cross between R2D2 and SpongeBob SquarePants, and have relegated it to the cupboard.
4.Matching set of bamboo beach mats, purchased on our first trip to Hawaii so many years ago. While they seemed like a great idea, nobody told us about the crazy pattern the bamboo leaves on your exposed skin. Ouch. They have languished in the attic ever since, never to see sand again.
5.Blown-glass drink stirrers, with various tropical birds perched on the end. These were purchased on our honeymoon in Mexico, and we envisioned raging parties hosted at our tiny apartment where we would happily pass out drink stirrers to our super-fun guests. I am still trying to figure out exactly what type of drink requires stirring.
6.A humongous counter-top microwave oven from the 80s, the size of which rivals a mini-Cooper. After occupying half of the entire kitchen counter-top for years, we moved to our current home which has a built-in microwave. Seventeen years ago. The intended recipient of the microwave (college kid) claims that his roommate has one. I fear I will one day be buried in it.
7.A VCR. I cannot even imagine why we still have this. For you young ones, this is the prehistoric version of the modern-day DVD player.
8.We still have the very first can opener we purchased, back when opening a can meant, "Dinner is served!" At least we are all current on our tetanus shots.
9.The fire extinguisher that hangs in our garage, in that manly section referred to as the "Home Safety Center" by hubs. I fear that when I actually need a fire extinguisher, only glitter and dust will come out of the nozzle.
10.A large paper-mache parrot, who has been a prized possession since our honeymoon in Mexico. We brought him home on the airplane back in the days when you could carry-on strange objects that could be used to pummel someone and take over the plane. Now he would be subject to a body-cavity search.
Sentimental old fools, or hoarders?
The jury is still out.
This piece was originally published at Old Tweener.