THE BLOG
09/11/2014 02:10 pm ET Updated Nov 11, 2014

5 Surefire Ways to Sabotage Your Dating Life

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In reality, dating is not a whole lot of fun. Most people would rather find that one person than to go through the cattle selection process of dating. Dating is full of games, rules and catches. It is hard to know who is genuine and who isn't. The world of dating has now lost many of its organic qualities of meeting people out and about in the real world. It is all about dating websites, apps and being matched. It is so readily available that it is hard to know what you are really getting when you date. It has become a desperate world with a plethora of people available to choose from. It can be easy to lose yourself in this fast track to dating, and it can also make you even more desperate to find the right person. To find the right person you must be smart about dating and yourself.

5 Ways to Sabotage your Dating:

1. Happily Single = Happily Taken: Most people jump into dating before they embraced being single. If you want to find your mate, you must first learn that you can be content and happy on your own within yourself. When you are in this space of being truly happy you will likely attract higher quality people and when you attract these people you are already equipped with your own happiness to bring into the relationship.

2. Desperate: When you are desperate you are honestly only focused on having a relationship. You can get so focused on that, that any person will do. In this way you end up being blinded by the need to have the security of a relationship that you overlook who it is you are actually committing to. This will eventually lead to disaster when you wake up and you realize that you are with the absolutely wrong person for you.

3. Rushing: After only a few dates you decide that this person is the one! How would you really know that? It takes a lot of time to really get to know someone and it takes time for intimacy and trust to build. You may have mad chemistry right away but do not confuse chemistry with this is the one. In the beginning this is only the one for your hormones!

4. Being Needy: Neediness is a turn off. It shows that you are not ok on your own. When you are needy you are showing a lack of confidence which turns you into a child rather than a sexy self-sufficient adult. If you are needy, I suggest you not date at all until you get more confidence. No one wants to love or take on a needy person.

5. Auditioning: Yes, when you date you want to put your best face forward but if you approach dates like an audition you are coming from a place of not feeling good enough and dumbing yourself down. You should not have to audition to be in anyone's life. When people are trying to gain love and approval they often try too hard and make fools of themselves. Warning: if you try too hard, you will embarrass yourself.

Before you date, know and love yourself first. Get your life together. Do not go into dating expecting someone to take care of your emotional welfare. Your emotions will always, first and foremost, be your job. You must look out for yourself first and not expect someone else to do the protecting for you. Going into the dating scene can be hell if you are not truly ok with who you are and able to stand on your own.

Sherapy Advice: Before you date make sure you know how to look out for your own best interest. You will make smarter decisions in people with this skill in hand.