A significant portion of my work is dedicated to dismantling and deconstructing the pervasive and dysfunctional messages our culture propagates about love, myths most people have absorbed by osmosis since the first time they were exposed to the wonderful world of Disney and Hollywood. The basic messages about love are:
- The point of life is to meet "The One."
Sound familiar?
Let's douse these incendiary lies with a big dose of truth-water:
- The point of life is not to meet "The One." The point is to become your own one, to learn and grow and evolve your mind, heart, and body, and to express your gifts and be of service in some way. From that place of fulfilled aliveness you may or may not choose to share your life with another person.
After the initial honeymoon stage fades (and having a honeymoon stage is not a prerequisite for a healthy relationship), feeling in love is an experience that is cultivated primarily through the intersection of two actions: 1. Flooding your relationship with loving actions and 2. Feeling connected to your own aliveness, creativity, and sexuality. In other words, when you're feeling filled up and alive within your own self and you bring this aliveness to your partner who is also filled up, the two of you will meet in a place that can feel like magic. There's nothing dramatic about this real in-loveness. It's not borne out of longing or the chase. It's real, present, honest connection. It's two sparks meeting each other and creating a fire together.
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Sheryl Paul, M.A., has counseled thousands of people worldwide through her private practice, her bestselling books, her e-courses and her website. She has appeared several times on "The Oprah Winfrey Show", as well as on "Good Morning America" and other top media shows and publications around the globe. To sign up for her free 78-page eBook, "Conscious Transitions: The 7 Most Common (and Traumatic) Life Changes", visit her website at http://conscious-transitions.com. And if you're suffering from relationship anxiety - whether single, dating, engaged, or married - give yourself the gift of her popular E-Course.