08/20/2012 11:49 am ET Updated Oct 20, 2012

Craigslist Ad: Seeking Replacement for Joe Biden

Date: 2012-08-16, 1:25PM EDT

White House is immediately seeking an experienced leader to join team as Vice-President at our main operations office in Washington, D.C.


Very strong communication and motivational skills. Ability to speak English clearly, coherently and, whenever possible, in complete sentences. Ability to differentiate between events that occurred in the 20th century and those that occurred in the 21st century. Ability to read speeches without ever, ever ad-libbing or doing impressions.

Job Responsibilities:

Support current President of the United States without sabotaging re-election campaign. Do what you are told. Other duties may be assigned as they are discovered.

Send us query letter and details of your credentials. Yes, this is a paid gig.

- Compensation: DOE
- Please, no phone calls about this job!
- If Joe Biden contacts you about this post, please do not respond