Democrats Plan to Groom Superstorm Sandy for 2016 Election

Following Barack Obama's convincing win over Republican contender Mitt Romney, Democrats are wasting no time in grooming Superstorm Sandy as the president's most likely successor in 2016. "Sandy was absolutely pivotal in winning the election for Obama," said Democratic strategist Eileen Yater. "Her ability to make everyone completely forget about Benghazi and the economy proves that she is an ideal presidential candidate for the next election."

In a statement released earlier this morning, Sandy noted, "I am flattered by all the attention but have no plans to enter the political arena. The devastation I leave in my wake is minor compared to that done by both parties on a daily basis." Nonetheless, insiders have reportedly spotted Sandy with several Democratic political operatives, as she prepares to bear down on Angola with her trademark fury. "She and Chris Christie as a running mate would be an unbeatable combination," said Democratic Congressman Marcus Dellatoom. "Besides, we can have a female presidential candidate in 2016 without having to deal with Hillary Clinton."

When asked about the legal limitations inherent in potentially nominating and/or electing a weather system to the presidency, Yater noted, "We've got four years. That's more than enough time to mess with the Constitution in ways we couldn't have dreamed."