THE BLOG
03/18/2015 10:13 am ET Updated May 18, 2015

Children's Letters to Starbucks Baristas

Starbucks

Dear Starbucks Barista:

My Mommy and Daddy fight all the time. Is it my fault?

Timmy

Dear Timmy:

Sometimes parents have problems and it has nothing to do with you. Usually it's because they aren't drinking enough coffee. They should try our line of brewed coffees and iced coffees, or they could bring home a bag of our delicious medium-roast Timor Mount Ramelau. (My personal recommendation!)

A Starbucks Barista

Dear Starbucks Barista:

Does God exist and why does He allow so many bad things to happen in the world?

Suzanne

Dear Suzanne:

The existence of God and the nature of faith is something that people have been examining for many, many years. If God does exist, I'm sure He (or She) believes in Starbucks' dedication to building greener stores and our supplier diversity program as well as our wide selection of affordable tumbler mugs, espresso machines, and drip trays.

A Starbucks Barista

Dear Starbucks Barista:

I'm very sad. My life is terrible. Would anyone really miss me if I wasn't around?

Logan

Dear Logan:

Every person is special and has worth. Besides, if you weren't here, you would miss out on all the benefits of Starbucks' Loyalty Program, which is so easy to join! It includes early access to new products, plus free food and drink rewards (some restrictions apply).

A Starbucks Barista

Dear Starbucks Barista:

I can't ever read your handwriting. Did you go to school?

Maureen

Dear Maureen:

Go to hell.

A Starbucks Barista