10/14/2014 01:40 pm ET Updated Dec 13, 2014

Rejected Festive Fall Coffee Drinks at Starbucks

RyanJLane via Getty Images

What's better than festive gourd season? Festive gourds with a pumpkin spice latte and a cozy sweater, preferably in the company of a dog named Steve. Some of the names bandied around the Starbucks back room didn't make the cut however and ended up circling the drain.

  • Apathetic Hipster Americano
  • Faded Tan Line Caramel Latte
  • Chapped Lips Dolce Espresso
  • Tipsy Tailgater Espresso Shots
  • Dead Leaf Cappuccino
  • Musty Sweater Latte
  • Football Mom Mochaccino (comes with obligatory guilt and sweater)
  • One Missing Goddamn Boot Macchiato