12/30/2013 03:17 pm ET Updated Mar 01, 2014

The World's Most Inappropriate Pregnancy Questions

I've never been pregnant before. Ever. Until now, of course. I've read what seems like every book possible about what to expect and I've even watched a few videos and documentaries. It seems by way of logical thinking that I would be completely prepared for pregnancy, right? Wrong. No one -- and I mean no one -- prepared me for the endless inappropriate and downright rude questions I would receive along the way. If you're a mom or expectant mom, I'm sure you can totally relate. If you have never had a baby before, here is your warning.

1. Did You Plan This?
Ok, seriously? Even if I didn't plan this pregnancy (which I personally did), why exactly is it your business? Most importantly, if I didn't, does that change the fact that I'm pregnant or better yet, are you going to help me unplan it? I once heard someone argue this question down stating that people just want to know if you were on birth control when you conceived. Again, why is that important?

2. Are You Happy?
Now this question absolutely blew my mind. Yes, I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be? A baby is a MIRACLE. Excuse me if I'd rather express my extreme delight with my husband or partner than share my most intimate pregnancy moments with you and the rest of the world. Sure this question is cliche and is probably not intended to be offensive, but what if I told you I wasn't happy. Can you help me or does that make me less of a qualified mother because I'm not?

3. Do you want more children?
Ok so you may as well ask me if I intend to keep having sex. I can want 30 kids but ultimately God is in control of that.

4. Are you going to breastfeed?
Whether I breastfeed or not, my baby will still be fed. Do you feed your kids oodles of noodles or chicken noodle soup? Who cares. They're eating, right.

5. How much weight have you gained?
Would you ask a non-pregnant woman how much weight she's gain? The last thing you need to mention to a pregnant woman is her weight. Whether she's gained 50 or 5 lbs be reminded she's carrying a human what's your weight gain excuse?

6. You Still Work Out, Won't That Hurt The Baby?
Contrary to popular belief, working out is more vital to your body than being lazy is. It is completely understandable that many pregnant women can't muster up the time to workout but if you can it has been proven that it can be vital to you and your baby's health.

I could probably go on and on with this list but I'd love to hear some of your most inappropriate questions in the comment section. If you're reading this please do not assume I'm just another hormonal pregnant woman. Just realize that pregnant or not I still have feelings that deserve to be respected.