THE BLOG
09/03/2014 03:04 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

I Used to Be a Liar

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Seriously, I lied all the time.

I lied every day about what I really desired, regardless of how big or small. I lied about who I was to my friends and family. I lied to my bosses and clients. I lied with every breath, word, and action, and especially with every smile plastered to my face. I lied every time I tucked part of myself away for being "too much" for someone else to handle. I lied every day that I stayed with the men who weren't right for me and every time I took a step further into a life I didn't really want.

I've always valued honesty, and yet I lied day in and day out for years.

The reason I was such a constant liar is I never realized I was lying to myself. I lied with every word and action, to every person I loved and cared for, because I was completely out of alignment with my own truth. But sadly, I didn't even know my truth existed at the time... I simply went through the motions based on what others wanted and what I thought I should want. I tucked parts of myself away over the years, held back, and conformed to what I believed was expected of me.

And then, at the start of this year I chose truth as my guiding word. This simple word has shaken me, my life, and my relationships apart completely.

Choosing to live, speak, breathe and be my truth every single day is one of the most powerful choices I've made on this journey to date. Instead of hiding out, putting other people's expectations first, or trying to dial myself back in order to keep the peace or make things easier on someone else, I speak my truth.

I speak my truth when it's incredibly hard, sometimes having to repeat the word over and over to myself until I can muster up the strength to dive into the conversation. Truth, truth, truth, truth, go. I speak my truth when it's uncomfortable, trusting that if someone can't handle it (handle me and all that makes me who I am), then they don't belong in my life. I speak my truth when it means losing money and risking security, because I know if I don't I'll be going against my values.

More importantly, I do everything I can to fully embody my truth.

Our truth is more than just what we say, it's how we show up in the world and our relationships.

It's in showing up fully, and showing the parts of ourselves that may be too much for someone else. It's in how we communicate, love, connect, and experience each other. It's in honoring our needs and desires, even when that means we don't cater to someone else. It's in every breath, action and expression.

Living a lie isn't always a conscious choice, but if you know you're not happy and you're not doing anything about it, then you're consciously choosing to continue with that lie. Not only are you choosing to lie to the people you love, you're choosing to continue lying to yourself, and that's just unacceptable.

It's unacceptable because this world needs more people living, breathing, speaking, being, and sharing their truth. We need more people willing to get uncomfortable so they can start loving more deeply, living more fully, and sharing the gifts only they have to give.

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How to start living your truth:

1. Stop lying to yourself.

If you're not joyful, in love with every moment of life, or feeling fulfilled in your relationships or work, you're lying to yourself. You're either not taking the time to acknowledge how you really feel or you're unwilling to admit the truth to yourself and others. When we acknowledge and admit the truth, we're forced to not only face it, but to do something about it. That's scary, I know. I absolutely get how scary that is. But continuing to live a lie because it seems easier? That's even scarier. Because that means one day you'll wake up in a panic and wonder why you wasted so many years of your life not being true to yourself. Don't do that. It's not fun and it doesn't serve anyone.

2. Stop lying in everything you do.

Once you acknowledge what's true for you, you have to start living, breathing, speaking, and being it. You have to dress to fit what you love and how you feel, not in the ways you think will impress someone else. You have to share what you believe and feel in the moment, regardless of who it will hurt or offend, or who will disagree with your taste or opinions. You have to do the things that align you with your truth... buy the book, take a step towards the goal, end the relationship, or quit the job. Do the things that move you towards living a life of truth and alignment. You have to be truthful in your every action.

3. Trust in yourself and the process.

This isn't easy work at all... truth telling is hard stuff. Truth telling means getting uncomfortable, vulnerable, and exposed. It means admitting that you're not perfect, you messed up, or you don't agree with everyone else. It means making changes, big and small. It's hard. But it's one of those hard things that's so, so, so worth it. At first it will feel like you're shaking yourself and your whole world apart, because you are. Stepping into your truth shakes things up, and more importantly, it ensures only the things and people in alignment with your truth will stay. When we align with our truth, we become rooted in it, and the people and things that are right become firm and steady. The parts and pieces of our lives that are tapped on with avoidance and lies, they fall away.

This is a messy process, absolutely. But once you've aligned with your truth and are living and breathing it every day, amazing things begin to happen. The right people, opportunities, and experiences just show up. You begin to feel happier and more fulfilled. Life is amazing, just like it should be.

So today, take some time to pause and check in with yourself. Where are you avoiding or refusing to acknowledge your truth? Where are you actively lying to yourself and others? And where can you begin to create more alignment right now?

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique and author of Awesome Life Tips book. Through her Mastery program, she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help men and women build passion-based lives and businesses they love. Click here to access her free Foundations for Unshakable Joy™ video training series and learn the unexpected trick to transforming your life with one single question!
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