THE BLOG
11/01/2013 01:40 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

You're Exactly Where You Need to Be

This is a truth -- I'm so incredibly passionate about. One that's also gotten me chastised by people who believe it to mean I won't push people or hold them accountable.

With my coaching clients and foundation members, I will never push or force them to be anywhere other than where they are right now. Sure, I'll dive in and figure out what's blocking them, if they're really in need of more time or if they're procrastinating, or if there's something else going in, but I will never make them feel like they're "falling behind" or create an added layer of unnecessary stress in their life.

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Whether you're setting out to rediscover yourself, find your passion, build a business, create a fulfilling relationship and everything in between, this is a journey. It takes time, patience, trial and error, exploration and experimentation.

You will hit blocks. You will trip up. Other things will come up. That's life, it's inevitable. The difference is knowing whether or not you're using these things as excuses to avoid taking steps forward and feeling uncomfortable.

How to check in with yourself to ensure you keep moving forward, rather than holding yourself back:

1) Check in and get really honest with yourself.

Is it really that you have no time, or are you afraid of taking the next step? Do you really need to rest and recover, or are you avoiding and procrastinating?

If you have a reason why you can't do something every single time you need to take that next scary step, you're probably making an excuse. Do you really, absolutely can not function unless it is done, need to clean the house before you can sit down do something that's going to be uncomfortable? Do you really, absolutely don't have another moment and never waste a minute on Facebook or watching TV, not have the time to do what you said you would do to move forward? Really truly?

If you check in and you truly do need some downtime so you don't get sick, or you really do just have too much on your plate, that's okay. Life happens, things come up and self care is essential to reaching your goals. Just be sure to check in honestly.

2) Figure out where you're stuck.

In my Foundations program, many people get stuck on certain modules and begin to feel like they're falling behind because they aren't able to move forward. My mantra is always, "you're exactly where you need to be and if you're getting stuck on something, it's something you really need to work on." It's 100-percent true.

If you take a moment and really pause with what you're stuck on, rather than trying to push right through it so you can keep moving forward, you're going to find that there's something you need to deal with. A limiting belief, a story you're telling yourself, a doubt or fear, something you're not clear on or need support with, etc. You're stuck where you are because there's something blocking you.

Take the time to investigate what's really coming up for you. Where are you stuck? Why do you feel like you can't move forward from this place? What are you telling yourself about the situation? What do you need to be clearer on? What support do you need to finally take the next step forward on your journey?

3) Remember that you are making progress.

You may not be exactly where you thought you'd be (or want to be), but you're still moving forward. The fact that you've come to a place where you're getting stuck means you've moved forward and away from the comfort zone in your life, relationship or career. When we're in a rut or stagnant in our lives, we may feel discontent or unsatisfied, but we're rarely challenged and therefore rarely hit blocks.

You're being challenged and that means you're making progress.

If you want to keep making progress, you can't push yourself into the zone of stress, overwhelm, unrealistic expectations and added pressure. That doesn't serve you. There's a very fine line between the kind of pressure, accountability and goals that help you move forward and those that only hold you back and make you feel like crap.

4) Make it a point to check in and re-evaluate what you're doing.

This is so important and so often overlooked. Just because you said you'd do X doesn't mean you can't change your mind or do something different. Until we start working the plan towards our goals and dreams, we don't know what's really going to work and what's not. You have to constantly check in and assess where you're headed, what you want, what's working and what's not.

Make it a point to check in every two to three weeks or once a month. How are you feeling about this goal? Does it still excite you, is it still something you want? What's working for you and what's not? Where do you need to change your plan, expectations, strategies or goals so that you can keep moving forward without overwhelming yourself? If you don't want this anymore, why not? What would you prefer instead? How can you make shifts to support this newly desired direction?

Take action now!

Where are you feeling stuck or like you're not where you're supposed to be? How can you be gentler with yourself and begin to see the progress you are making? Where do you need to check in to uncover what's really happening for you or what changes you need to make?

Share in the comments below, I'd love to support you!

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com;, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, "The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question."

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