THE BLOG
08/28/2015 11:48 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Pissing People Off Is Part of the Work Sometimes

I'm going to piss you off.

You or someone else... it's going to happen.

All because I'm going to touch on the things that make people feel unsettled and unsteady, and it's going to make someone mad. They may unsubscribe, unlike my social media pages, and tell the people around them that I'm the worst. Sometimes they may even send me a nasty email or comment letting me know just how angry I made them. How wrong I am for what I said or did.

The thing about doing this kind of work -- work that's in service of supporting others in making amazing things happen in their lives -- is that it's going to trigger things in people that they don't want triggered. It's going to force them to face what makes them most uncomfortable, the things they most want to avoid. Blocks and taking personal responsibility and how to make changes where we most desire them in ways that may seem a little strange or against the norm.

This kind of work bumps up against people's deepest "stuff," rubbing on raw spots that have been there for years. Kicking up things that have settled deep into the cracks of their heart and soul. Things they aren't ready to have kicked up.

Pissing people off is part of the work sometimes.

I used to worry about upsetting people, because I genuinely believe that no one person is right about anything, and everyone's opinions and experiences are valid and true. But the world doesn't need me to be so considerate of everyone that I shrink myself down and let my voice get lost in the shuffle of making sure everyone feels heard and happy. The world doesn't need me to fit in seamlessly, never bumping up against anyone else, because I was made with a very unique perspective and beliefs/views of the world. As were you. As is everyone.

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The world needs us to embrace who we are and what we believe, so that we can have the impact we were born to create. So we can really show up and do the work we're here to do.

I have a fierceness inside of me I'm only beginning to embrace. It's the part of me that has no tolerance for people taking life for granted, for settling for less than they deserve. The part of me that has no patience for the excuses we make to avoid doing the work to bring our dreams to life.

For a long time I set this fierceness to the side, trying to guide with a more gentle approach. Trying not to ruffle any feathers or make anyone mad. I did good work... and for awhile that was enough. But I'm ready to do great work. Work that transforms lives and changes the world around us for the better. And gentle is not enough, at least not for who I am.

I'm intense. I'm fierce. I'm outspoken and I call it like it is.

Am I also loving and gentle and kind? Absolutely. But without bringing all parts of me to my work, I wasn't living true to who I'm here to be, and how I'm here to work. I wasn't showing up fully. In order to live true to our purpose and be in service of others, sometimes we have to be a little fierce. Sometimes we have to speak up and say what's true so that others are forced to face what they don't want to face. Sometimes we have to call it like it is, with just enough love and compassion.

All this to say...

Don't be afraid to piss people off.

I've received some of the angriest emails after writing the things I believe in deeply. I'm not going to pretend the words haven't stung from time to time (especially those first few), but I always remember that it's not about me. I'm here to speak my truth and to call people on their sh*t so they can start living lives they really love, doing work that lights their soul on fire. That's why I'm here, not to make people like me. And in the process of doing so, some people are going to get mad... because they're not ready to face it.

That's okay.
I'm not a bad person or coach.
I didn't do anything wrong.
Not everyone is going to like me.

This isn't permission to be a jerk. This is permission to live true to what tugs at your heart and fills you with intense passion.

For me that's helping people build lives and businesses around their passions and aligned with their souls. And I won't tolerate anything less for the people that wander into my orbit. For you, it might be something similar, or it might be something different. Whatever it is, don't be afraid of the fierceness and intensity that comes with that passion. Don't be afraid to speak up and speak out.

Don't ever be afraid to piss people off.

The world isn't going to end, and if you're worried about pissing off those few people, you're going to miss out on helping so many more people.

For every one nasty email I get, I receive at least 20 - 50 positive emails thanking me for telling it like it is. For speaking what's true for me. For sharing myself and my mind. For showing up fully.

Are you willing to show up more fully and passionately in your work?

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of Stephenie Zamora Media, a full-service, life-purpose development, branding, and online marketing boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development, branding, and online marketing to help turn passionate individuals into profitable entrepreneurs.

With over a decade of experience in design, development, and brand/marketing strategy, she's currently helping coaches, solopreneuers, and small businesses create their beautifully branded online presence, without breaking the bank, through her highly regarded Jumpstart Website Design Package.

Stephenie's been featured in The Huffington Post, Yahoo Shine, Positively Positive, and Brian Tracy International. Learn more at www.StephenieZamora.com!