THE BLOG
10/02/2014 03:40 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

When Your Friends and Family Don't Support You

When we feel called to do or create something in our lives, it's not always going to align perfectly for the people we love. We may be called in a direction that goes against our family's belief system, makes our significant other uncomfortable, or causes us to butt heads with our closest friends.

That's okay, because what we do isn't for them.

The work we're each here to do individually in the world isn't about the people we may love and know. Sometimes it's meant to pull us far away from the ones we're closest to and most comfortable with. Sometimes it's meant to challenge us in ways that our hearts shatter and our ties are severed. Sometimes it's meant to push us beyond the circle we've come to love and trust so we can step more fully into our unique role in this life.

Our callings belong to us, and us alone. If we continue to hide behind the beliefs we were raised with and the ways of being that make other people feel comfortable, we're never going to grow into the person we're meant to be. More importantly, we're never going to do the work we're here to do.

Callings are different for all of us. Sometimes they're big and grand and world changing. Sometimes they're grand, yet closer to home and more personal. Sometimes it's about starting businesses, becoming healers, challenging the status quo, or creating a movement that changes the world. Other times it's about expressing ourselves, making art, raising a family, or moving to a new city on the other side of the country. Whatever the calling, it's meaningful and important because it's about contributing in our own special ways.

Yet far too often, we let the people around us interfere with the following of our callings. We let them make us feel wrong for what we do, guilt us because they're uncomfortable, or keep us from making change through threats of withholding love or support.

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Here's the thing (two things actually): It's not about them... and it is about them.

Let me elaborate...

First, it's not about them, it's about you.

The work you're here to do, the family you're here to raise, the way you're built to express, and the things you feel called to pursue, it's not about them. It's about you. It's about the contribution only you can make to the world, and it's about creating a life you love that's built around passion, purpose, and fulfillment. You were put here to do great and amazing things, not to make other people happy or comfortable.

Second, it's also totally and completely about them.

When I say this, what I mean is whatever their issue, it's theirs and not yours. You're not responsible for anything or anyone but yourself, and how someone else reacts to the choices you make says more about them than you. If someone is mad or scared, that's their fear and belief system getting in the way, not yours. If someone is uncomfortable, that's their issue with change and growth, not yours. If someone is guilting you or giving you a hard time, clearly they're not an awesome and supportive person and it's a good thing you're realizing it.

The most important thing you can do in this life is stay true to yourself and what calls your soul.

Stop worrying about other people and focus on what you're here to do and who you're here to be.

The second most important thing you can do is find a tribe of people who love and support you. More specifically, find a tribe of people who totally get you and what you're working to create. While we may want the people we've know the longest to be our biggest supporters, it's simply not always going to be the case. So find your real family and your right friends. When we have the right support in place, it's easier to follow our callings and step into our truth.

Remember, it's about you.


Take action now!

Tell me, what's one area of your life where you're not honoring your needs, desires, and callings because of someone else? How can you recognize that's it's not about them, and how it is about them, so you can start moving forward? How will you create space so you can find your right tribe?

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique and author of Awesome Life Tips book. Through her Mastery program, she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help men and women build passion-based lives and businesses they love. Click here to access her free Foundations for Unshakable Joy™ video training series and learn the unexpected trick to transforming your life with one single question!

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