THE BLOG
12/31/2013 01:04 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Why You Should Start Talking to Yourself

Whether you spend most of your time alone or you have a strong tribe surrounding and supporting you, it's important to remember that you are the only person who will be there 100 percent of your life. So long as you're alive, the only person you can really, truly count on is you.

As you grow, shift, and step into your truth during this lifetime, you may begin to cycle through people. Family grows older, sometimes more distant, and eventually, some pass on. Friends go through life changes of their own, often times creating distance as you both venture forward on your own paths. Relationships shift, evolve, and sometimes end.

The only thing that's consistent in life is that things constantly change... including people.

Change can be challenging... and as you step into the next season of your life or evolution of yourself, it can also be incredibly isolating. Sometimes in order to move forward, we have to release those that no longer serve us, and until we find the new tribe, that can leave us with only ourselves.

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So in order to work through these times,
you have to learn to support yourself.

And yes, that means you need to learn talk to yourself.

This doesn't mean you run over to the local coffee shop and have a lovely conversation with yourself about current events, it means that you become your biggest supporter, best friend, and your own life coach. It means instead of wallowing in isolation or looping negative thoughts all day long, you be kind to yourself.

Look in the mirror and verbally remind yourself that you're beautiful, loved, and doing what's best for you. When you fall off the wagon on your diet plan, gently remind yourself that it's okay, everyone makes mistakes, you'll do better tomorrow. When you're working through a difficult shift, take a moment to check in with yourself and reconnect with why you chose to make this change in the first place.

Talk to yourself like the best friend you are to others or the one you'd want for yourself. Be kind, supportive, reassuring, and quick to brush negativity aside.

When you're able to form a solid bond and support system with yourself, life is suddenly less intense, less isolating and less negative. Instead of berating yourself constantly, you feel safe and loved within your own body. This is such a powerful space to exist in.

When you feel safe, loved and supported, all by yourself, you become less desperate for approval from outside sources or relationships. You are content by yourself. You don't need anyone's help to make the changes you need to make, because you have your own back. You also don't have as much trouble releasing what (and who) doesn't serve you because you're not afraid of being alone. You have you, and that's all you need.

As a bonus, this shift also allows you to enter into new relationships with certainty, clarity, clear boundaries, and zero dependency. It allows you to attract the right people into your life because you're beaming with a loving, accepting, clear and complete energy.

Take action now!

Start talking to yourself. Go find a mirror and a safe space and tell yourself that you'll be there from here on out. Start checking in with yourself and learning to trust your intuition. Be your own best friend and stop depending on other people to care, listen, support or be there. If they are, wonderful! If not, learn to be content with yourself.

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, "The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question."

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