03/22/2011 09:48 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Why Stephen Colbert Fears Me

At first I didn't put all the pieces together.

Why wouldn't he return my calls?

After all, in January alone he'd had Jane McGonigal, Michael Lewis, Amy Chua, Sherry Turkle and even Chris Matthews (who DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BOOK). Hey -- I've got a book too!

But still, no invite.

As the pattern developed, my first thought was -- our nations are in competition. Curation Nation vs. Colbert Nation. Maybe he was afraid that our brands were too close together.

But that can't be true, because Colbert isn't afraid of brands. In fact, he eats them (and drinks them) on his show almost every week.

Then it came to me -- he knows that his powers lie in the fact that he is a MASTER CURATOR -- the ultimate cultural sir mix-a-lot. Think about it. He doesn't create the news. He comes in every day, and reads the papers (or more likely has them read to him) and then he grabs the funny bits, and PUTS THEM TOGETHER. It is like exposing Clark Kent as Superman. I am his kryptonite.

2011-03-22-bites.pngAnd once the fans of Colbert Nation realize that they are under his spell -- that they could GRAB THEIR OWN FUNNY BITS -- and curate their own Fake News Montage each night. Once empowered -- his audience might start to float away.

Ok, sure, it takes time. Maybe even most of the day to curate the Colbert comedy stew, but lots of folks don't do much at work anyway. We COULD DO THIS. And then, we'd have democratized the whole Fake News Market.

He fears US.

Our collective crowd-sourced comedic power. Our individual comedic brilliance. Our satirical splendor.

So -- I'm throwing down the gauntlet. Here and now.

Stephen Colbert: I CHALLENGE YOU -- to a man to man Curate-A-Thon. I'll bring my book. You bring your writing staff.

It's ON. (No Biting!)