08/03/2012 04:49 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Glamor, Guts and Gams: Why Mika Should Never Take a Vacation

This past week Morning Joe co-host Mika Emilie Leonia Brzezinski went on holiday leaving a bunch of young and old farts who spend most of the Starbucks-brewed MSNBC show chest-puffing their ardent notions. Her absence left me having to be content with commercial-break stills of a sinuous and stunning Mika balancing sensually on those unrelenting stems. Didn't work.
I miss Mika's passionate and astute input. I miss her engaging eye roll over a Scarborough observation he obviously feels to be so inadequate that he must repeat it incessantly until Donny "I Never Had An Opinion That Isn't A Fact" Deutsch intrudes with his latest gem. I miss Mika's vexed reaction to camera one whenever the boys go baseball machismo all over her; a glance so cutting that Jim from The Office could only dream to be able to execute said stare in response to Dwight's latest stroke of foolishness.

I miss my own indignation when Joe rudely interrupts Mika's comments that don't support his own bias. But most of all I miss the only lascivious delight my wife allows me with another woman. When my wife and I made that "if we were allowed to, you know, with a person other than each other" deal, I misunderstood the deal's parameters and went immediately with watching Mika every morning on Morning Joe. My wife, understanding the scenario perfectly, went with a Willie Geist weekend in the Hamptons. Even with not altogether appreciating the guidelines, I feel that I came out on top on that one.

Sure, Mika will be back, but the week has been insufferable. Even the tranquil and intolerably young Sam Stein of the Huffington Post failed to satiate my intellectual or carnal desires. (I'm straight, but c'mon, Sam is adorable). I almost considered reaching for the remote to see if ESPN was finally finished with their drooling coverage of non-story New York Jets (AKA Shirtless Tim Tebow) training camp. I said almost.

You see, Mika is far more to me than a pulse-quickening revelation meant to quench an innate liberal appetite. She has become my indignation gauge on a so-called left-wing network program dictatorially piloted by a former Republican congressman. Sure there are as many Democrats as there are Republicans who populate a mostly male-laden table of bombastic egos. But Mika is an absolute who remains the center of common decency in the middle of the politically nuclear destruction of communication and debate. And without her this week I felt as if I too would be sucked into that hopeless abyss that the last twenty years of political chat idiocy has wrought.

So, hurry back Mika. We miss you.

And remember to bring those legs.

Award-winning television writer, Steve Young, is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful: Mistakes, Adversity, Failure and Other Steppingstones to Success"