03/20/2013 06:30 pm ET Updated May 20, 2013

Prose: Once Nuanced, Now Prosaic

My nuances have become less nuanced. Until recently my nuances were subtle, penetrating and refined. Lately my nuances, while neither coarse nor undiscerning, no longer distinguish the most muted gradations of delicate overtones. My writing, once hailed as highly nuanced, is now viewed as passably nuanced.

Last week a friend told me that my paradigms had become were less paradigmatic. I was offended because I pride myself on my paradigms.

"My paradigms remain foundational, prototypical and essential," I said.

"I did not say your paradigms were not paradigmatic, only that they were less paradigmatic than they used to be," he responded.

"In what way?" I asked

"They are less nuanced," he answered.

Are blunted nuances are a signs of age? I know for sure that my tastes are becoming less discriminating. My tastes used to be catholic but I now fear they are verging on the parochial. I have heard rumors that my holisms are no longer holistic.

"Are my holisms still holistic?" I asked my wife.

"Your holisms are still integral and comprehensive but lately they lack nuance. That happens with age," she answered. "You should not be worried. Instead, think about the benefit of aging."

"Such as?" I asked.

"For starters your prose is more prosaic."

"That is hardly a benefit," I objected. "Anyway all prose is prosaic

"To say that all prose is equally prosaic is not a very nuanced view," she said. "Some prose more prosaic than others."

It's very confusing. If my solipsisms are less nuanced than before does this mean my solipsisms are more solipsistic or less solipsistic?

"Are my solipsisms becoming more solipsistic or less solipsistic?" I asked my brother.

"I am not sure," he answered, "but you use of the word "solipsisms" indicates that your pedantry is getting more pedantic."

"Are my eccentricities also becoming more eccentric "?" I asked.

"Your eccentricities are certainly less nuanced than they once were."

"But by their very nature eccentricities are not nuanced," I said.

"That statement reveals an abysmal lack of nuance," he said. "It's a sign of age."

I decided to see my doctor.

"I am afraid my routine is becoming routine," I said.

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

"My charisma is eroding. My aura is less emergent and its effusion is less fluidic."

"Those are symptoms of deterioration of your nuance faculties. It happens with age."

This diagnosis lacked nuance. She is showing signs of age.