THE BLOG
06/20/2010 12:58 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Newly Elected South Carolina Senator Alvin Greene's Acceptance Speech

Hello.

I want to thank the thousands of voting machines that elected me.

I want to thank the ballots for making you think of Lou Rawls and Al Greene, who I liked a lot. As a kid. I think Lou Rawls is dead. Which helped.

Hello.

No.

I look forward to representing the people of South Carolina, wherever they are.

I want to thank God for the envelope with money in it that He sent me, along with the note telling me to run for senator.

And I want to thank all of of you for making all of this and all of me possible. And God.

Okay.