THE BLOG
04/21/2011 12:03 pm ET Updated Jun 21, 2011

Oversharing in the T'ex'nological Age

Have you ever looked at your cell phone to see that you had made a call you didn't intend to make when the number "2" was pressed as you sat down? Or worse, have you seen that the call was made three hours earlier and you can't remember what you were doing or what your neighbor might have heard you say?

For most of us, the convenience of speed dial is a blessing. No longer must we search for phone numbers or press 7 to 10 digits to make a call. Calling someone we contact frequently is as easy as pressing one number!

Like so many "solutions" to problems, the one-number-dial has created a whole new set of issues. In this case, the problem is the same as the solution -- we can call someone by just dialing one number!

My client, Cindi, came in last week and told me that her ex-husband pocket dialed her when he was having an intense conversation with his new girlfriend about where they should live -- whether they would move in to her place or his, or somewhere neutral, as well as how they would deal with his kids (should they get a place with three bedrooms, for instance, so each of his sons could have their own room).

Rather than letting her ex know she was on the other end of the phone, she slyly listened to the entire conversation, hoping to hear something incriminating. Luckily for him, she didn't. Nor did she hear anything romantic, which might have been too much for her to bear.

One man told me he heard his ex-wife being abusive to their children and, while he wasn't able to use the information in court since he hadn't recorded it, he was able to use it as leverage with her. He let her know that he would be checking in with the kids about how often she was "losing it" with them and, if there was a next time, he would be recording the call.

In researching this topic to see how prevalent this phenomenon is, I found out that many of you are pocket dialing or being pocket dialed by your exes by mistake. It's common to accidentally call those who, as one woman put it, "are on the 'frequent flier' list."

I also heard tales of many other "accidental" eavesdropping or uncovering of hurtful information via technology before, during and after the divorce that made for some interesting stories -- the likes of which Jerry Springer has made a living on.

My friend's daughter was trying to find a particular application on her father's cell phone for him when a text message came through from a name she didn't recognize. Normally, she wouldn't think twice about messages coming in but it just happened to read, "i love u."

Much to her surprise and disgust, Deedee (not her real name) had the misfortune of finding out the unthinkable: her father was a no-good cheat. She knew her mother had no idea and would be devastated if/when she found out.

Deedee was put in the unenviable position of getting this secret out in the open, which she did by telling her father he needed to tell her mom within 48 hours and if he didn't, she would. He confessed the next day.

Despite attempts made to salvage their nuptials, the breach of trust was too much for the marriage and they ultimately divorced.

While the advantages of our technological advances far outweigh the disadvantages, anyone owning a cell phone, Blackberry, iPhone or any other hand held device should know that it might bring you more information about your spouses and exes than you ever wanted.