02/15/2012 11:03 am ET Updated Apr 16, 2012

Virginia: Right to Bear Arms, Duty to Bear Children

What do you call a state (excuse me -- Commonwealth) whose legislature in one month advances laws allowing unlimited purchases of handguns, declares the rights of personhood from the moment a sperm and egg unite and forces all women seeking abortions to first have an invasive, unnecessary medical procedure? Why, Virginia of course. Oh, and lest I forget, we can lay claim to the highest total of state-sanctioned executions of any state in the Union at 1,384. Color me proud.

For those of you keeping score, our newly Republican supermajority -- including our governor -- appears to condone killing fully grown people but is determined to ensure that the women of Virginia not be allowed to use certain forms of contraceptives for fear it will prevent the formation of pre-born people. And clearly they are concerned that women are too dumb to realize what an abortion is, so they are mandating trans-vaginal ultrasounds. Have you ever had one of these? They are not entirely pleasant and they are certainly medically unnecessary. The only reason to require one for a woman seeking an abortion is to show her there is a fetus inside her womb. Duh... I think that's why she is seeking an abortion.

So let's recap again. The party that is seeking to get government out of our lives by, for instance, allowing an unlimited number of gun purchases, is inserting itself into the reproductive lives of women. Long before there was a United States of America, Virginia hosted the future nation's very first execution in 1608. And as attorney general, Governor Bob McDonnell supported expanding the death penalty to participants in a homicide other than the "triggerman."

Confused? Life and death in the Commonwealth of Virginia appear to have different value depending upon who is making the decision. If you want to load up on guns and wear one on your hip as you're chugging beers at a Virginia tavern, go ahead. It's a right for the "law-abiding" citizens of Virginia, presumably even for the pre-born once personhood is conferred upon them. Unsure what to get the mother-to-be? How about a sporty little firearm for Junior? Sure, the chance exists that he may end up in the electric chair down in southern Virginia, but let him have some fun with guns before then.

We may have the right to bear arms, but we have the duty to bear children. With contraceptives and abortion being effectively outlawed, I'm guessing our borders will swell with little ones. Babies everywhere -- because many times sexual activity results in pregnancy. Without easy access to birth control, lots of people will be having babies who likely can't afford to care for them or maybe don't want to. But I'm sure the legislature is already planning for how to fund more and larger schools. Maybe they're even revising the sexuality education curriculum to ensure that it's comprehensive. Of course girls will need remedial classes as it is clear legislators think we don't understand conception or fetuses.

I am so grateful that my 19-year-old daughter chose not to attend a Virginia university. It was worth paying out of state tuition to know that she is someplace where her rights are safeguarded and where, presumably, she is trusted to make good decisions. I can only hope that each member of the Virginia legislature -- as well as Governor McDonnell -- are forced to undergo a medically unnecessary and invasive trans-anal ultrasound performed by a technician wearing a holstered handgun before they are allowed to pass these bills into law. A little rough justice for all.