01/03/2012 02:54 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Who Will Win Iowa?

I asked the tarot cards to tell me who would win Iowa, then I thoroughly shuffled and laid the cards out. Here's how they fell. The top line of cards are Ron Paul's, the middle line of cards are Rick Santorum's, and the bottom line of cards are Mitt Romney's.


The message of the cards seems pretty clear. In fact, you don't even need to be a tarot card reader to interpret these cards. Go ahead, take another look at that photo and try your skill at divining who will win Iowa. How'd you do? See, political prognosticating is easy. All it takes is some crystal balls.

Here's my interpretation of the cards. Beginning with the top row, the Ace of Cups, reversed, indicates that Ron Paul may have peaked too early. The Tower card signals that Paul is marketing himself, in the final hours before Iowans caucus, as the anti-establishment candidate who will really shake things up. The Tower also points to the onslaught of negative advertising Paul has had to try to withstand as an anxious GOP establishment contemplates the frightening possibility of Ron Paul being their nominee. The Fool card indicates that Paul is perceived by too many Republicans as a reckless choice.

Moving to the middle row, we see the Nine of Cups, signaling that many Iowa Republicans are rallying 'round Rick Santorum as their chosen champion of the socially conservative cause. The Four of Pentacles indicates that Santorum is viewed as solidly conservative, both socially and fiscally. And, the Three of Wands, which pictures a figure gazing out at the horizon, shows that Santorum is a beneficiary of the "not Romney" vote -- Santorum is the choice of those still waiting for a better candidate than Romney to appear. I have to admit, if I were picking on raw intuition alone, I would say Santorum is going to win.

However, moving to the bottom row, these cards clearly predict that Romney will win Iowa (either that, or the Universe is just messin' with me). If you're a Tarot Politico reader, you know that the King of Cups has been showing up a lot lately -- he represents what voters are looking for in a leader right now (though Romney may not fully fill the bill, Iowans may be deciding he's the closest thing they've got). The Empress card represents growth, perhaps indicating here that Romney will have the momentum as Iowans head out to caucus. The final card, the Six of Wands, pictures a returning hero, wearing a laurel wreath, seated high atop his noble steed, being hailed by all. In tarot, this is known as the "victory" card -- enough said.

*Photo courtesy of author.