THE BLOG
10/15/2014 02:30 pm ET Updated Dec 15, 2014

Don't Dissect Your Relationship, Let It Be

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Women today are powerful... so you aren't fixated on being the perfect woman, having the perfect body or representing the perfect specimen of what a man supposedly wants, right? One size doesn't fit all. A woman attracts a man based on who she is as an individual, not just by her looks, body and charm.

A funny thing happened on the way to women being empowered to attract a man, no longer concerned about the infamous chase that used to posses a woman's every waking thought. Women started putting the relationship before the connection, thinking about what this might be instead of enjoying what you're doing with the guy you've got before you.

Fixating on where it's going before you've got anything worth considering is still a trap.

There's one simple solution: Never talk to a man about your relationship. Let it be.

Talk about what you're interested in, then get him to talk about what he loves to do outside work. The second he reveals what he loves, find a way to go do it. Of course, that likely won't apply to motocross, unless you like to watch, so let's hope he offers an example that allows your participation.

Next, it's your turn. Give him a few choices. The rest is about enjoying what you're doing together. Then, don't forget to thank him for coming along on one of your favorite adventures.

Don't share details of your first date with anyone. OK, if you have a great friend who understands the roller coaster ride of new connections, perhaps, but that person has got to be a true confidant. Keep the details of the first dates secret, even if you share you're still dating the same person. It takes weeks before something of potential turns into something real, so until several weeks have passed, you simply don't know what you've got.

Once something has sparked, invariably you'll get in your head and start thinking about where it's going. But talking about your relationship with him is just not where you want to go. When something is working it usually happens organically when you're having so much fun and interesting conversations it becomes unthinkable to let it stop.

The activities you do together and how you feel while enjoying each other's company will tell you all you need to know. Questions will often answer themselves. Trust what you're intuition is telling you and be honest with yourself.

These moments are also something you both can both remember, if a lasting bond is eventually formed, so you can use the same formula to reconnect after challenges hit your relationship.

Oh, and whatever you do, don't change a standing event in your life to accommodate a new person you've just met and don't ask him to do it either. No matter how tempting, your life must always come first, which shouldn't change even when a casual dating partner begins to look like someone who could be more permanent in your life.

It used to be that women had to utilize other people's rules to be successful finding dates and relationships, because traditionalism didn't allow for our own vibrant careers and personal plans to be a priority. Dating advice revolved around steps to take to land the right man for marriage and how it's all the woman's fault when things go wrong. Now that's only the case when we make the wrong choices.

Enjoy yourself and the relationship will take care of itself, at least at the beginning. Dissecting it is deadly, instead just let it be.